Use the 'stache force, Luke
I suspect Republican Luke Malek will be as serious about his run for lieutenant governor in 2021 as the late Chuck Lempesis was in the 1986 Republican primary.
Luke, a former legislator who announced his candidacy Nov. 12, will face an uphill race like Chuck did. North Idahoans encounter long, but not impossible, odds in running for statewide office.
Chuck’s first order of business in challenging Butch Otter and others for the GOP nomination was to persuade fellow Republicans that he was serious. He was so serious, in fact, that he adopted the slogans, “Chuck Lempesis is Serious” and “Atta Boy Chuck.”
Oh how the Republican establishment enjoyed tinkering with Chuck’s motto and Greek surname.
One partisan, according to my Huckleberries column of Sept. 30, 1985, suggested a slight change for the battle cry: “Put the Emphasis on Lempesis.” Another: “Up with Chuck.” And: “Would Chuck Could.” And, finally, “Lempesis Is Not a Disease.”
All of which is mild stuff compared to these toxic political times. Fortunately, Chuck, a Post Falls attorney and former county GOP chairman at the time, had a gold-medal sense of humor. He smiled and soldiered on.
Then, there was his mustache. It was a thin caterpillar thing that snuggled his upper lip, like 1930-40s actor Don Ameche’s. Supporters worried the ‘stache would be an obstacle for Chuck as he campaigned for conservative votes in southern Idaho.
The mustache was the focus of a fundraiser hosted by Tom Richards, then president of the old Idaho Forest Industries mill on Seltice Way (site of the new Atlas park). Guests were invited to vote on the mustache — $5 for Chuck to keep it, $10 to shave it.
Guests backed the mustache 2-to-1. But they advised the pencil-thin attorney to add 10 pounds.
Ultimately, Chuck shaved the mustache and gave Otter a good run before falling 58 percent to 42 percent in the 1986 Republican primary.
Chuck would become a public defender and ultimately spent the end of his career as a legal peacekeeper, mediating settlements with warring sides. He was a decent candidate — and human being.
Seriously.
North Idaho vibe
First, you should know my brother-in-law, Christian Meyer, lives in Vancouver, Wash., where they take mask wearing seriously. And you should know that, during a trip to see his father in Bonners Ferry, a grocery clerk glared when masked Chris asked why no one else was wearing a mask. Now, fast forward to this week. Chris was shopping in Vancouver Costco when an Unmasked Man with a camera began filming other shoppers and denouncing them as “sheeple” for wearing face coverings. The defiance and rudeness surprised Chris. Then, he pinched himself and thought: “I must be in North Idaho.”
Huckleberries
• Poet’s Corner: Five years ago, at the Festival of Trees, Kootenai Health announced it had received a donation of $1 million from Super 1 owner Ron McIntire and his wife, Joanne. My friend, Tom Wobker, celebrated the McIntires’ generosity with this rhyme: “Light all the fireworks/and cue all those choirs/for a splendid big thanks/to the Ron McIntires” — The Bard of Sherman Avenue (“Gift”).
• Those who know Cis Gors of Kootenai (Bonner County) well, know she goes all in when she hears a good idea. That’s why she told her hairdresser to grab the sheep shears and give her “a virus haircut.” Explains Cis: “That way, if the (Brad Little) shuts us down, I’m ready. I am NOT going to look like a shaggy dog in May.”
• Conversation between Rosamund “Ozzie” Drake — age 5 — and her mother, Jennifer: Ozzie: “Mom, do you know what I want for Christmas?” Mom: “No, what?” Ozzie: “All of your love and joy.” Mom: “Oh honey, that's so sweet!” Ozzie: “Also an iPhone, a big TV, and a hamster.” That sound you hear in the background is Ozzie re-setting her parent trap.
• Not all flimflam music men stopped in I-O-Way, according to the late Louise Shadduck. In her local history, “At the Edge of the Ice,” Louise reports that, around 1900, “a 76 Trombones” con artist came to town, selling instruments. The price included lessons. So the John Pete Johnsons bought a guitar for daughter, Anna. Alas, writes Louise, “when the hustler got his pupils started, he left town and them holding the bag.”
Parting Shot
Former Shoshone County Sheriff Mitch Alexander and former legislator Mike Blackbird were touting the importance of helmets recently. Mitch Facebooked that a ski helmet had saved a friend from serious injury. Mike, an avid bicyclist, replied that he had flown over the handlebars of bikes twice in 40 years, cracking his helmet each time. The helmet had saved him from head injuries, Mike said, quipping: “Though there are some who question whether they worked.”
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You can contact D.F. “Dave” Oliveria at dfo@cdapress.com.
