Finding My Way: Who We Are

It’s said that a crisis brings out the best and worst in people. It’s been a while since we’ve been able to test that theory, but we’re testing it now.

Normal life has become very strange. Now every day feels like Sunday afternoon without the sports. I guess that’s good, because it means people are staying indoors, either out of prudence or fear.

With so many people self-isolating, I’ve noticed two effects: internet providers are having a hard time maintaining bandwidth, and Facebook traffic is through the roof.

It’s unfortunate that the increase in Facebook posts is not reflecting an increase in the intelligence demonstrated by the writers. In the last week I’ve read that Covid-19 was created (take your pick) by Bill Gates, the US military, the Chinese military, and/or by vaccinations in general. I’ve also learned that Covid-19 is a plot to kill seniors so we can get rid of Social Security, and that it’s the fake creation of the news media which is employing crisis actors pretending to be sick.

I’ve also learned that the World Health Organization is actually part of the “liberal elite cabal deep state,” and should therefore be distrusted or ignored, whichever you’d prefer.

But while there’s plenty of foolishness parading across my laptop, there are also plenty of reminders that we’re not all dumber than rocks. I’ve read reports of people checking in on others, and even sharing some of life’s necessary resources, if you know what I mean. It’s gratifying to see.

The reality is that human beings have always been an astoundingly bi-polar form of life. The same gene pool that gave us Mother Teresa also gave us Adolf Hitler. And for every Shakespeare or Einstein there’s a porno playing on someone’s cell phone.

Inside each of us reside both our most base desires and our inner urge to look upward and outward. Heavenward, if you like. The inner war between these two competing natures continues more or less constantly in my life, your life and throughout the history of humanity. The reason we’ve never achieved peace within society is because we’ve never achieved a final peace within ourselves.

And then along comes Covid-19 and the dial that regulates our inner angst gets turned up to eleven. Our fears tell us to hunker down and protect whatever is ours at whatever the cost, but our better angels tell us to check on our neighbor with a loaf of bread and a roll of toilet paper in our gloved hands.

It’s an inner battle that never ends, and it’s fought among individuals, communities, and nations. The reality is that fear, anger, and the urge to fight are all hardwired human emotions, while gentleness, meekness, and love unfeigned seem to be, at best, after-the-fact intellectual choices. They are good choices to be sure, but they’re a lot slower getting out of the gate than the first flush of adrenalin-fueled fear.

So which side will win, now that the complacency that normally numbs us has been pushed off the playing field? Will we retreat to our bunkers and start stringing barbed wire? Or spend our days looking for ways to share and uplift others?

I’d like to be optimistic, but I realize that the more uncertain life becomes, the path leading us back to our better angels grows steeper and more difficult.

Exhibit A: FOX News reported in early March that sales of ammunition in the United States spiked nearly 70%. The most popular bullet was the Smith and Wesson .40, which saw sales climb 400%. Ammo.com spokesperson Alex Horsman said that this was the first time he’d seen a virus trigger such a boost in sales.

But these are strange times, when the unlikely becomes commonplace. What’s in the future for us all? God knows, but the rest of us will have to settle for ignorant speculation on Facebook.

But there’s a deeper question in the wind, and its answer may ultimately determine humanity’s fate. And the question isn’t who are we—because we already know who we are. The question is which side of our schizophrenic humanity will lead the way as the future unfolds before us all.