Did language barrier lead to ship sinking?

Reporter’s note: Quotation marks show direct quotes from the media, such as a newspaper. All other commentary is from Your On-The-Street Reporter.

Report 10: Close the Ports!

London, England

Ben Quinn, “Que? Spanish Crew’s Lack of English Sank Mary Rose,” The Times, August 1, 2008

A report in The Times (London) states the pride of England’s Henry VIII’s navy, the Mary Rose, sank because the crew did not understand English, and not because of a battle with a French frigate.

With permission of the Mary Rose Trust, skulls of 18 crew members were examined to determine where they had lived. It was discovered over 60 percent were of southern European origin (and thus, did not speak the exalted Mother Tongue).

How did the scientists know the skulls did not belong to the ship’s officers? Because the researchers assumed a “low-life” Spanish or Italian could never attain the lofty rank of a British Navy Officer.

Back in those inspiring navy days, ordinary crew members had more cavities than teeth and the aristocratic officers had more teeth than cavities. The reason: The crew ate more gruel than limes, whereas, the officers ate more limes than gruel. The photos of the 18 skull samples clearly show a high ratio of no-teeth to teeth. So, one can conclude these sailors took orders but did not give them.

During the preparation for battle with the French ship, the gun ports of the British ship were open. As maneuvering commenced, The Times reports that the sharp turns of the ship caused water to flood into the open ports on the side that was keeling-over. According to this study, “… foreign crewmen could not understand quickly enough the command to close them.” From your reporter’s perspective:

• Captain, “Mr. Houser, 40 degrees to the starboard. Now!”

• Mr. Houser, “40 degrees to the starboard. Aye, sir!”

• The order is relayed to the helmsman, to the men manning the sails, then trickles down to the lower forms of life on the bottom decks of the ship, “Men, close the gun ports. Now!”

• From this forensic analysis, the scientists concluded some of the men laboring below decks spoke English, but they were in the minority. The others likely responded:

• “No comprendo.”

• Deck officer, “Damn it, cerrado el gun ports!”

• As water begins to flow into the ship’s lower decks, a crew member asks, “Que pasa?”

• To which one of his shipmates respond, “Agua pasa.” … As the Mary Rose begins her trip to Davy Jones’ Locker.

Your reporter is amazed by the scope and breadth of the studies we humans undertake about our past. I’m a history buff, so I benefit and gain pleasure from them. But sometimes, they seem over the top. How much did this study project cost? Who paid for it?

More to the point, what is its point? If any reader of this report can successfully explain the point of this study to your reporter (and I promise to keep a semi-open mind about the matter), I will reward you with untold numbers of dollar bills. Please note the word “untold” in the preceding promise.

OK, I suppose the report was enjoyable to read, and we did have some fun with it. But if you think this report was fun, read the next one.