Family for Life

If you’re lucky, you’ll never join this family.

To wind up in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, something has to go wrong.

But for those who do end up in the NICU at Kootenai Health, a devoted team of doctors and nurses, as well as volunteers, welcome newborns and their families during their time of difficulty.

“You spend 88 days with people every single day and they save your daughter’s life,” Leondra Holman said while reflecting on daughter Bellanie’s experience in the NICU.

“They’re definitely more than family.”

Bellanie was delivered at 29 weeks in July 2017, after a complicated pregnancy and emergency surgery at 22 weeks. At just under four pounds, she fit in the palm of father Matt Holman’s hand.

“When I came out of surgery, one of the doctors was there and she just told me our beautiful little girl was such a fighter… and they were going to be there with us every step of the way. And they were, they really were,” said Leondra.

The NICU at Kootenai Health is a level three NICU (pronounced “nick-you”), taking babies born as early as 28 weeks – that’s three months early – and weighing as little as about two pounds, as well as critically ill infants in need of surgical intervention.

The nonprofit hospital has a 14-bed unit, although NICU medical director Dr. Brook Lang says they can accommodate up to 20 kids if needed. Even more impressive, however, are the accommodations themselves.

“We have individualized rooms so parents can stay the night. Or one parent can stay the night every night if they want,” said Lang, adding that it’s the only NICU in the region with individualized rooms for families.

“It’s really a nice setup for families.”

In addition to beds for parent and baby, rooms also feature cameras for absent (or working) parents to look in on baby. Anna Werner, R.N., manager of KH’s NICU, said families often share their login information to other loved ones around the world.

“We’ve had families log in from Asia, Africa, Australia and all over the entire world,” said Werner.

“So it’s really cool that people across the nation [and] across the world want to see a teeny tiny little baby right here in north Idaho that they’re rooting for.”

“Families really love that,” Lang agreed. “That really helps provide a connection for the families who are unable to be there.”

Providing that sense of connection, which can be difficult for families in the NICU, is important, says Lang.

“Anything to help families for their connection,” she said.

This was crucial for the Holmans. Matt was working in Texas for much of Bellanie’s stay and Leondra was often home taking care of their four-year-old son Logan.

“They were the ones that were with her all the time,” said Leondra of the NICU medical team. “That was so hard on me that I couldn’t be there with her, but they took such good care of her and they kept me up to date on everything.”

She said she would call often throughout the day – and at night when she couldn’t sleep—and staff would patiently calm her down.

“When I was down there visiting multiple times, the nurses gave me their direct numbers too and said, ‘If you have any questions, call us any time of day,’” said Matt.

During visits, Leondra says, nurses would dutifully spoil their son with candy and trips to the cafeteria for sweets, as well.

“They took him on and they spoiled him and loved on him,” she said. “We would soap up and clean up and go through the doors and they would just be waiting for him.”

“And the day we got out it was like leaving family.”

It’s no surprise, then, that families like the Holmans tend to keep in touch with the NICU staff long after patients are discharged, exchanging texts, social media messages and attending the annual NICU reunion.

Stemming from this need to keep in touch, the unit invites all NICU “graduates” and their families to meet at McEuen park for food, games, face-painting and other activities. Out of hundreds of invitations, between 100 and 150 people showed up for the second reunion in 2019.

“The way that it started I think was just from bedside nurses; they really build close relationships with our families. Our unit is small enough that we’re able to really build those relationships and families end up leaving like they’re part of our family,” said Werner.

The reunion is meaningful for families such as theirs, whose births can be a time of difficulty and stress. Not only do staff understand the complications surrounding what is ordinarily a happy time, every family present at reunions can relate.

“Most people don’t understand what it’s like to go through that experience,” said Matt.

“It’s a part of parenthood that a lot of parents don’t have to go through, thankfully, but it’s one that is a part of our story and it’s nice to have other people that understand that story,” said Leondra.

“And it’s nice because they understand. They understand what we went through.”

This year’s event won’t go as planned. Instead, Werner and Lang say, graduates will be sent cards to fill out updating their progress, and pictures of the thriving young’uns will be included in a slideshow. A live 2021 reunion is being planned.

The event won’t just be anticipated by the families. Over the course of each baby’s care, the NICU staff grow attached to the families just as much.

“There’s a serious bond that occurs between mom, dad, the baby and their primary team,” said Lang. “The NICU is never typically an expected stop for families and it always adds such significant stressors. Their life changes, [but] what comes out of it is that because they have to be there so long we get to witness the improvement and development of their babies.”

“It’s very rewarding I think for both the providers and the nurse team as well as the families to see the babies and how well they’re doing,” said Werner.

“We never forget them and this is a way that we get to show them just how important they are to us,” Lang said.

The reunion is special to the Holmans. The invitation to the first came when Bellanie was still in the hospital, giving the family something positive to look forward to, almost a year later.

The family’s move to Texas was delayed to ensure they attended the second reunion.

“We had actually planned on going back this year for it and then COVID happened,” said Leondra. “But we were planning on hopefully simultaneously doing our family trip and going home to see our family in the NICU.”

Leondra always cries when she speaks of their time in the NICU, but as she says they’re “happy tears.”

“We had such an amazing experience. [The] staff there are incredible and they were nothing but supportive to us during that time.”

And Bellanie is a happy, healthy, bubbly toddler celebrating her third birthday this July.