The Common-sense Dog: Affection's role
Very often we see people attempting to soothe fearful, anxious, or aggressive dogs with physical affection. This attempt at building trust has its pros and cons.
While physical affection in early stages can help the dog feel more comfortable with you, it has many downsides. First, if the dog is in a poor mental state, physical affection can encourage the dog to become more entrenched in that state of mind. For instance, if your dog is nervous at the vet and you consistently soothe the dog by petting, it is very likely that you will validate the fear rather than showing the dog a different emotional mindset toward the vet’s office.
Second, affection can elicit unwanted responses. As human beings, we naturally comfort our children and one another through physical affection. However, not all dogs desire physical touch. In fact, some of them dislike it on their best days (I own two dogs like this), and attempting to start the relationship this way can very easily lead to further aggression and anxiety, and even worse, a bite.
Third, too much affection in the early states can damage your authenticity as a leader. When dogs enter a new environment and this new environment triggers a poor emotional response from the dog, affection offers them no direction. In these instances, our dogs are in desperate need of direction, not affection.
If my child is struggling with her homework, I don’t give her a hug and call it a night. I coach her through it so that tomorrow’s homework is less confusing. If we offer our dogs too much affection and not enough guidance, they will learn we have no leadership value and will start making decisions on their own (and these decisions are not always pleasant.)
That does not mean affection has no place in dog training. It absolutely does, but it should be used in such a way that it benefits our dogs. Affection is a phenomenal reward for a dog who enjoys affection and is in a healthy state of mind. Affection is also a great way to cultivate calmness. By touching when the dog is calm, we reinforce that behavior. If affection makes your dog crazy with excitement, it’s likely not a good reward to use until later stages of training.
To sum things up, use all the affection you want when the dog is in a healthy place, but try to avoid it before that.
I trained a dog named Breezy a while back. She came to me for fear-aggression. She was 8 years old and had lived all her life on a farm with her owner. She had no need to get to know lots of people or dogs. She had no need to develop her social skills beyond the simple life she knew, but her owner had to move them across the country to a different life, and Breezy was struggling.
For three days after her arrival, she snapped at me every time I approached her. I couldn’t even remove her leash. This is a time I could have pushed affection on her in an effort to create trust, but it would have set me back. So, each day she snapped, and each day I grabbed the leash, calmly guided her through the scary kennel, the scary doorway, and the scary slippery floor to a nice long walk through the neighborhood. By doing this and putting no pressure on her, she was able to blossom in her own time.
On day four she approached me and sniffed my face. I didn’t touch her. On day five she climbed into my lap. I didn’t touch her. On day six she had no fear of me at all. She allowed me to leash her and walk her with no issue. When we returned home, she sat next to me with a wagging tail, and I pet her. She enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, and it rewarded a healthy mental state.
Don’t be in a rush to touch a dog too soon. Evaluate the situation and make sure that touch is of benefit to the dog you are trying to help. It’s worth it in the long run!
Happy training!
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Stephanie Vichinsky is the owner/head trainer of Method K9 in Post Falls.