THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Seahawks; Address pass rush needs, and draft well

Shall we dig into all the exciting news for the NFL Combine?

Like, does the fact that Joe Burrow’s hand only spreads out to nine inches potentially signal a future fumbling problem — or wobbly passes in bad weather?

It can get pretty foul in Cincinnati, and the weather is occasionally bad, too.

Pro scouts gasp in horror when seriously considering a quarterback with small hands like Burrow’s.

And there’s plenty of proof that the small-hands theory is foolproof.

For instance, Patrick Mahomes hands spread out, well, just a quarter-inch farther than Burrow’s.

Look at the problems that Mahomes, uh, geez, can we just start this analysis all over again?

Moving along…

If you don’t mind getting a headache that will feel a bit like the kid next door is hammering a screwdriver through your ear, you can listen to the coach and general manager of each NFL team address the sleeping media — and pretty much say nothing at all.

SERIOUSLY, are the breathless reporters waiting for Seahawks GM John Schneider to say, “Yes, absolutely we want Jadaveon Clowney back in Seattle. Helluva player.

“In fact, we met with his agent for nine hours yesterday. We basically offered $86.5 million over four years with a pretty fat guarantee based on the monthly Dow Jones average, plus some waterfront land on Puget Sound.

“But they countered that they’d like to have a five-year deal instead of four, and they’ll need an appraisal on that land.

“Let me find these exact numbers for you…”

C’mon, everybody, get a grip.

Nobody is saying a thing, and even thinking is done in private.

With armed guards outside.

Sure, Seattle’s defense was ranked 22nd last year by some metric that was lost with the death of theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking — but is still used by the NFL with the help of an 11-year-old in Hog Fork, Ala., who works in secret out of his family garage.

So, without the help of analytics or anything else that the lady up the street wouldn’t understand, let me lay it out for you.

Of course the Seahawks want Clowney back.

Hell, yes.

They had an almost useless pass rush a year ago, and that was WITH Clowney.

Imagining issues in the secondary without Clowney (and even more help along the front), you could picture quarterbacks sipping lemonade in lawn chairs as they look for wide-open receivers.

In fact, and this actually is not meant for giggles, it’s harder than you’d think to grade the Seahawks secondary.

Safeties and corners can take more chances, jump more routes and so forth when there’s pressure up front.

WHAT THE Seahawks would rather not talk about, what with all the speculation about Clowney and finding him some help to rush a passer now and then, is that they kind of created this mess themselves.

Remember Frank Clark?

Edge rusher Frank Clark with the 13 1/2 sacks for Seattle in 2018 — yes, that Frank Clark.

The Seahawks were caught in a salary cap bind after paying Russell Wilson a gazillion dollars last year.

When the league’s cash levels for elite pass rushers went through the roof, they decided they couldn’t afford Clark’s demands and traded him to Kansas City.

Schneider has made some amazing deals in the past decade, but that one fizzled.

Clark wound up starring on the Super Bowl champions, free agent Ziggy Ansah (whom the Seahawks hoped could fill that spot) never got healthy, and even Clowney proved again that he’s a bit of a hybrid disruptor who needs anchors around him.

Basically, with Ansah unavailable and first draft pick L.J. Collier not up to the task, the Seahawks were flat out of anchors when tackle Jarran Reed got suspended for six games, and then didn’t produce.

Suddenly, Seattle has almost no recognizable defensive line — unless you count free agents Reed, Clowney and Quinton Jefferson, all of whom are eligible to go money hunting on March 18.

Maybe we shouldn’t joke about measuring potential pros at the Scouting Combine.

The Seahawks could need a truly fantastic draft.

Email: scameron@cdapress.com

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns for The Press appear on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. He also contributes the “Zags Tracker” package on Gonzaga basketball each Tuesday.

Steve’s various tales from several decades in sports — “Moments, Memories and Madness” — run on Sundays.