COLUMN: Marriage counsel clarified

Bob Shillingstad’s Saturday column about the Guindons’ counseling approach concerns me. He characterized them as Marriage Counselors, not Christian Teachers.

When someone says they are a Marriage Counselor, one would hope there is no underlying personal religious agenda. There is nothing wrong with preaching Christianity, but it is not counseling when we use a couple’s vulnerability to promote a religious viewpoint.

I am sure the Guindons are kind and well-meaning people who practice what they teach, but they do not appear to be marriage counselors whose purpose is to listen to and help clients understand their inner world. Counselors help their clients heal by bringing into the light of truth past hurtful or abusive experiences that are likely the root cause of their current challenge.

Additionally, self-centeredness is not a sin. It is a human survival instinct and a learned condition that most often occurs to protect one from painful past experiences.

There are spiritual principles which can make a difference in marriage, such as forgiveness and humility, and they are fundamental to healing. But let us also understand that promoting a specific religious agenda in the guise of counseling is imposing control tactics rather than accepting someone for who they are and helping them walk their own path of healing.

REV. STEPHEN TOWLES

Unity Spiritual Center

of North Idaho