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The Corona Rules: Part II

Laughing at stress is the easiest way to cope with it, and certainly the cheapest.

Friday’s Press shared The Corona Rules, Part I for your groaning pleasure. And now Part II:

•It’s better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at with shame when you get some fresh air, and most importantly, don’t go to parks or walk. But be sure to walk. But don’t sit down, except that you can do that now if you’re old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too old).

•You can’t go to retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly and bring food and medication.

•If you’re sick, you can’t go out, but you can go to the pharmacy. And hardware store and grocery and laundromat and...

•You can get restaurant food delivered, which may have been prepared by people who didn’t wear masks or gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated outside for three hours. But not pizza?

•Every disturbing article or disturbing interview starts with “I don’t want to trigger panic, but...”

•You can’t see your older mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.

•You can walk around with a friend (?) but not with family if they don’t live under the same roof.

•You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.

•The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn’t say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily.

•The virus stays in the air - well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, and in one hour a sick person can infect 10, so if it falls, all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further. Maybe.

•We count the number of deaths but we don’t know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were “almost dead” to find out if that’s what they will die of and...

•We have no treatment, except that there may be one that apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case with all medications). Good to know.

•We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, so when it circulates... But we must no longer be locked up for that?

This confusing mess was brought to you by sources unknown.

Don’t try it at home. Or outside. Or maybe do.