Faithful Observations

Most people probably know a family that has adopted a child from overseas, often China, Korea, Russia, Guatemala, Ethiopia or similar country. This number peaked at over 20,000 per year in the early part of this decade. For a variety of reasons, these numbers have leveled off. According to Pew Research, only 5,370 adoptions from overseas happened in 2016. Some countries have shut off adoptions to other countries because of reported problems of abuse or even adoptive parents trying to return the child back to their home country.

To be honest we hadn’t paid a lot of attention to the details of the issues regarding overseas adoption. Then we met Sandra Moats of Happy Trails Farm in Hayden. As we listened to Sandra’s story, we felt as if we were interviewing a real live “Mother Teresa” in our community. You can decide for yourself as we give you the details in our interview.

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Sandra, I have lived long enough to know better than ask a woman her age. However, I suspect that your years match up to Jane and myself. We have been married for 56 years and obviously you have a life experience to share. What is that?

It is interesting that you mention marriage. My husband and myself have also been married 56 years! We were in church ministry together in Montana and Idaho and when our children left the nest we were in China working with the underground from 2001 to 2003. It was there we met our first adopted children in an orphanage from China and we would bring three beautiful daughters back to the states with us. We immediately bonded with these girls and found ourselves with a new family to raise.

You now have three young girls that you adopted but were soon involved with other adoptive parents. How did this come about?

Many children were not babies when adopted and often age 5 or older. We found that if there was not a bonding of parents to child by age 12, it turned into a difficult no-win situation. Many of the children were also special needs children and we mourn that 20 percent of those adoptions were dissolving. Because of our background we were contacted by adoption agencies asking us to help by counseling these families or as a last resort, taking the children into our home until a new home could be found. We have taken in many children and have 10 at home at this time. We are not an adoption agency, but we work hand in hand across the nation with many good adoption agencies, lawyers, and other professionals to help families struggling. This is a worldwide issue and in fact we have been on French television twice addressing these topics.

We didn’t want these children to go into the foster care system; they already feel abandoned and different, although most foster care parents do a wonderful job and we desperately need more people to be involved in foster care.

You and your husband have four children of your own, three adopted daughters from China and now you are saying it didn’t stop there. How many children are there in your family?

Well, you might say I am the mother of 21 children, four biological children, 12 adopted from China, one Vietnamese daughter, a son from South Korea, a Philippine daughter and a Thailand son. Of course we have 12 grandchildren and I am twice a great-grandmother. Some of these of course have left home and are doing well on their own.

I want to emphasize we are not here to judge those who have had a difficult time with adoption. The children and families we serve are struggling in their relationships with their adopted international children. Families who had great dreams for their adoption after returning home find themselves torn inside and not being able to parent their child. Many are struggling because they feel they cannot talk to someone who understands their position and desperation in trying to reach their child. Within the adoption community, families who are not able to walk through with the child are shunned and looked down upon. Some of those families even lose close relative relationships because of them deciding to dissolve their adoption.

It is always easy to point the finger at adoptive parents who aren’t able to walk through life with a child. They have waited for this child to come home, they have jumped through many legal hoops to bring them home and put out thousands of dollars. To no fault of their own the child cannot attach. It can be an everyday battle in the home through the healing process, and some never heal. They are so broken they cannot be fixed unless God does a miracle.

Tell us about Happy Trails Farm. How did that come about?

After my husband and I retired from ministry we needed a place for the children and having no funds or equity from a home, we had to depend on God’s provision. Amazingly we were presented with the perfect property that allowed plenty of living space but also room for animals. Animal therapy has been so effective working with these children. We have horses, a jersey cow, chickens and more!

We encourage the world of art and music in the healing process along with attendance in church services, youth groups, Awana and Bible studies. We want our children to know Jesus Christ and their heavenly father. The children work together in the household with chores and this gives them a firm structure and rewards.

If people want to assist in your work or learn more how do they do this?

Certainly prayer, financial support, construction help, supplies and repairs — right now we need electrical work done on our guest cabin. Obviously we are always seeking parents available to adopt a child. We are available to speak to groups and churches and if anyone wants to contact us they can go to our website: www..nhfaik.org

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Bob Shillingstad’s Faithful Observations runs Saturdays in The Press. Contact Bob: bjshill@mac.com