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Joe hatches a beautiful, ghastly idea

| October 9, 2019 1:00 AM

Q. What room does a ghost not need?

A. A living room!

- • •

Q. Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

A. Because you can see right through them!

- • •

Q. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?

A. A nectarine!

- • •

Q. When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

A. When you’re a mouse!

- • •

Q. How does that limerick go about the guy from Nantucket?

A. Censors are breaking into the editorial writer’s office right now…

Well, with the exception of that last bit, which was clearly headed down the wrong road in a family newspaper, this editorial greets Halloween Month with a smile and a snicker — with Snickers soon to follow. The jokes were easily swiped from internet sites, but the inspiration behind the idea comes from Coeur d’Alene resident Joe Nipper.

When Nipper was a nipper growing up in Iowa, he disclosed in a recent letter to the editor, kids earned their Halloween treats by sharing tricks. In this case, the tricks were jokes. And it sounds like that tradition lives on in some areas of America’s heartland.

Now, this is going to take a powerful stretch of the imagination in the Age of Entitlement, but according to Joe, telling jokes constituted a fair and acceptable exchange for the candy. No trick (a joke, in this case)? No candy. Simple as that.

Have you noticed that many trick-or-treaters these days ring the doorbell and then just hold out their plastic pumpkins or sacks? Some don’t even waste their breath on the three magic moonlit words: Trick or treat! Givers of goodies are gobsmacked, waiting for a simple request which in many cases never comes.

That’s why we stand with Joe. Let’s make Halloween night more fun for everyone, and require just a morsel of effort in exchange for all those unholy calories. Even if we can’t make this the North Idaho tradition that Joe suggests, let’s at least encourage more interactions where kids tell a good joke, we old fogies reward the effort with a tasty treat, and everybody’s happy.

Kids need to memorize only one joke apiece, which they can unleash at each new door. And thanks to Joe putting all of us on our toes, everyone’s got plenty of time to prepare.

So let’s have some extra fun this Halloween.

Jokes for treats.

Smiles for all.

Q. Which ghost is the best dancer?

A. The Boogie Man!