Here's what these parties actually reveal

Your honor, for even further proof that society has gone crazy, we submit Exhibit 4,327,229. It’s the “gender reveal party.”

(To which the judge rules instantly that Exhibit 4,327,229 proves conclusively that society has gone crazy.)

If you don’t have a blue or pink clue what the heck we’re talking about, count your blessings. It means you’re not addicted to social media and it probably also means those closest to you aren’t, either.

Gender reveal parties are, in a word, stupid. For some reason that only the demons who hatched social media can fathom, alleged adults have decided it’s a grand idea to have big celebrations to disclose via social media whether their impending offspring has a certain part or doesn’t. Blue for boy, pink for girl. At this point, anyway, those are your choices.

To many of us, these are exercises in lunacy. Who cares what sex your child is? The only relevant question is if the baby’s healthy.

According to the rules governing life in a social media universe, Couple A’s gender reveal party needs to be bigger and bolder than Couple B’s gender reveal party. Even the dullest among us might sense some danger in that.

As a matter of fact, people have been killed and property damaged in gender reveal parties gone awry. Any concept that this is fun and creative is quickly vanquished by reports that copycats and those bent on one-upmanship are increasingly leaning on homemade explosives to reveal their nippers’ native nuances.

What’s behind it?

“There’s this huge pressure to publicize these once-private moments,” said Carly Gieseler, a New York professor who’s studied the rise of gender reveal parties. “You get that outside validation that what you did was unique, that it was extra special. It drives celebrations to the extreme because you’re trying to do the thing that no one’s done before.”

The question is, why? Why are you trying to reveal the sex of your baby in a way nobody has done before? Couldn’t that creative energy, never mind expense, be better directed toward something that actually matters? You know, like figuring out how to feed hungry kids in your community or maybe just devoting more quality time to your partner?

It is a known fact that younger generations find humor and entertainment in endeavors others might find absurd. With generations since time immemorial, fads fade. But in this all-encompassing social media sphere, the rules and the stakes in the game are unlike anything from previous times.

Let’s hope gender reveal parties soon die peacefully, unlike some of the celebrants themselves.