Red Skelton: The 'Energizer Bunny' of celebrity comedians

No celebrity could have packed more into one lifetime than comedian Red Skelton. He was born to make people laugh, and began his journey to becoming America’s Clown Prince at age 12 when Doc Lewis’s Patent Medicine Show came to town.

Doc gave him a job hustling his “snake oil” patent medicine to the show’s audience.

That was more fun than attending school or selling newspapers.

One day Red did so well selling, he had to get more supplies and stumbled on some stairs, and then nose-dived into a pile of medicine bottles.

The crowd roared with laughter, so Doc made that a routine for his show.

“That stuff was nothing but Epson salts, water and brown sugar,” Red commented later in life, “and Doc was getting a buck a bottle for it. One bottle of that junk in your stomach and you either called in the undertaker or you had a constitution that could take arsenic.”

In the years that followed, Red’s natural gift for comedy blossomed.

On showboats, at the circus, in clubs, on stage, radio, movies and television he made people laugh — especially during the dark days of the Great Depression and World War II.

His comedy was mainly acting through funny characters he created. There were nine of them.

Best known were “Freddie the Freeloader,” a bum with a heart of gold, “Clem Kadiddlehopper,” a hick from Cornpone County, Tennessee, “Willie Lump Lump,” the drunken hobo, “Cauliflower McPugg,” a punch-drunk boxer, “George Appleby,” a hen-pecked husband, and “Junior, the Mean Widdle Kid.”

Junior’s trademark line, “I dood it!” was used in a newspaper headline reporting Doolittle’s “Thirty seconds over Tokyo” in 1942:

“Doolittle Dood It.”

Red could do more than act funny characters. Grouch Marx said, “He also sings, dances, delivers deceptively simple comic monologue and plays a dramatic scene about as effectively as any of the dramatic actors — Method or otherwise.”

“I’m nuts and I know it,” Red said. “But so long as I make ‘em laugh, they ain’t going to lock me up.”

Richard Bernard Skelton was born on July 18, 1913, in Vincennes, Ind., his father a circus owner and later a grocer who died two months before Red was born.

Red’s mother was left to support four young boys, and took in laundry and did house cleaning to make ends meet.

Youngest was Richard who was the only one with red hair, and was always called “Red.”

Red worked with Doc’s Patent Medicine show for four years and fell in love with show biz.

A string of jobs followed — including some small acting parts that weren’t always a success, but he learned what worked for him at what didn’t. His best talent was acting funny — slapstick and pantomime. Telling jokes didn’t work so well.

His life changed when he happened to be in the same town where the Hagenbeck-Wallace Circus was performing.

He applied for a job as a clown and was hired — following in his father’s footsteps as a clown in the same circus.

The veteran clowns took Red under their wing and taught him the clown skills he’d need.

Clowns became his passion.

As a self-taught artist later in life, he’d paint over a thousand images of the world of clowns on canvas, and eventually earned up to $2.5 million a year — more than he ever made in the entertainment business.

The Great Depression that wracked the 1930s doomed the Hagenbeck circus, but opened the doors for Red Skelton.

People needed to laugh a little during those gloomy times, and Red could make them do that. He bounced around emceeing events and shows, and doing comedy routines on showboats, burlesque shows and eventually big name theaters in New York.

One day at a coffee shop, Red became intrigued watching a man dunking doughnuts in his coffee, and from it he developed a funny Dunkin’ Donuts pantomime skit that became a hit and led to his employment at the Paramount Theater.

At one point, he was eating so many doughnuts that he gained 35 pounds and had to stop the skit until he slimmed down.

Inevitably, his talents caught the attention of Hollywood and he began his movie career — but not immediately. He flunked his first screen test, and didn’t get to the big screen until five years later.

His first film was “Having Wonderful Time,” and it received good reviews.

He would make 36 movies between 1937 and 1965.

One of them was “Duchess of Idaho” in 1950, a B-movie starring Van Johnson, Esther Williams, John Lund, Mel Tormé, Lena Horne and Amanda Blake. Near the bottom of the credits was Red Skelton, who had a small role as an emcee.

The romance musical didn’t have much to do with Idaho except for part of the story taking place in Idaho’s Sun Valley, where Esther Williams character “Christine” wins the Duchess of Idaho title in a dance contest.

The 1930s and ’40s was a time when ears were glued to the radio. The nation needed a little laughter during the Depression, and wanted news from the front during the war.

Red’s big chance came when Rudy Vallée gave him a spot on his radio variety show. Audiences loved him and years of success behind the microphone followed.

During World War II, Red was drafted into the Army, serving only briefly in Italy until he was shipped home after having a nervous breakdown.

Back in civvies, he eagerly returned to radio, movies and the early television.

The 1948 film “The Fuller Brush Man” was a hit, and the New York Morning Telegram said, “MGM studios fondly believe they’ve discovered another Bob Hope in the personality of a lad (he was 35) named Red Skelton … it would appear that this belief is not altogether unjustified.”

In 1951, CBS inaugurated “The Red Skelton Show” that later switched to NBC, a variety show that had a young Johnnie Carson as one of its writers.

There was more to Red Skelton than just comedy.

He loved America and wrote an explanation of the meaning of the Pledge of Allegiance that has gone viral ever since. Here’s part of it:

I — Me, an individual, a committee of one.

PLEDGE — Dedicate all of my worldly goods to give without self-pity.

ALLEGIANCE — My love and my devotion.

TO THE FLAG — Our standard, Old Glory, a symbol of freedom. Wherever she waves, there’s respect because your loyalty has given her a dignity that shouts freedom is everybody’s job.

UNITED — That means that we have all come together …

Red Skelton lamented on his weekly television show in 1969 that the Pledge of Allegiance might someday be considered a “prayer” and eliminated from public schools.

Red had some rough times in his personal life:

In 1931 at age 18, he married theater usherette Edna Stillwell, 16, who became his business manager, writer and occasional supporting actress. They divorced after 12 years of marriage.

His second wife was Georgia Davis and they had two children — Richard and Valentina. Red was devastated when Richard died young of leukemia.

Red and Georgia divorced and two years later, he married Lothian Toland, staying together the rest of his life.

“All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner,” he’d quip.

As master of ceremony at President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s birthday lunch in 1940, Red interrupted a presidential toast by grabbing the president’s glass. “Careful what you drink, Mr. President,” he warned, “I once got rolled in a joint like this.”

Roosevelt loved it!

From then on, Red emceed FDR’s annual presidential birthday luncheons.

Grouch Marx may have described Red Skelton best:

“With one prop, a soft battered hat, he successfully converted himself into an idiot boy, a peevish old lady, a teetering-tottering drunk, an overstuffed clubwoman, a tramp, and any other character that seemed to suit his fancy.

“No grotesque make-up; no funny clothes — just Red.”

Red Skelton died of pneumonia in 1997, at the Eisenhower Medical Center in Rancho Mirage, Calif., at the age of 84.

He was asked how he would like to be remembered — as a great clown, movie actor, or as a television comedian.

After thinking about it for a moment, he replied:

“I think I’d just like to be remembered as a nice guy.”

That wish came true.

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Contact Syd Albright at silverflix@roadrunner.com.

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What Red said…

“If by chance some day you’re not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I’ve said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.”

— Red Skelton

Red Skelton’s Farewell…

The time has come to say good night,

My how time does fly.

We’ve had a laugh, perhaps a tear,

and now we hear good-bye.

I really hate to say good night,

for times like these are few.

I wish you love and happiness,

In everything you do.

The time has come to say good night,

I hope I’ve made a friend.

And so we’ll say May God bless you,

Until we meet again.

— Red Skelton

Trouble on the showboat…

While still a youngster, Red Skelton got a job on the stern-wheeler show boat Cotton Blossom, that traveled the Ohio and Missouri rivers. He did black face skits, songs, jokes and monologues. The showboat gig helped him hone his slapstick and pantomime skills, but he lost his job and they threw his belongings into the river when his interests included the captain’s daughter Samantha.

Dog problem solved…

Joining a touring company playing “Uncle Tom’s Cabin,” Red portrayed a runaway slave being chased by dogs. Big problem when the dogs wouldn’t chase him and the audience grumbled. However, after stuffing raw liver in his britches, the dogs chased him eagerly. His pants were shredded and his buttocks tattooed with fang marks.

Red joins Masons…

Red Skelton joined Masonic Lodge No. 1 in Vincennes, Ind., in 1939. He also joined both the Scottish and York Rite. Thirty years later, Scottish Rite honored him as Inspector General Honorary 33rd Degree. He also served as a Shriner at the Al Malaikah Shrine Temple in Los Angeles and became a longtime supporter of children’s charities.

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