Remembering Jen, and her journey
Photos by LOREN BENOIT/Press Corey McKenna poses for a portrait on a rock on Tubbs Hill. Tubbs Hill was a favorite hike for Corey and his wife, Jen. Jen passed away in June because of complications with her double-lung transplant.
The word “Healed” is engraved on a bracelet tied around Corey McKenna’s wrist.
Corey and Jen McKenna are seen here at The Coeur d'Alene Resort last Thanksgiving, where they enjoyed the holiday fireworks. (Courtesy photo)
Jen and Corey McKenna, with their pup Samson, are headed out for a car trip in fall 2017. Jen did not survive complications from her double-lung transplant and her life will be celebrated Aug. 17 at Coeur d'Alene Bible Church. (Courtesy photo)
Jen McKenna and her mom share a moment while in North Carolina before Jen's double-lung transplant. A celebration of life for Jen will be held Aug. 17. "If I learned anything from her, it's that no matter how hard things get, she always found the humor," said her husband, Corey McKenna. (Courtesy photo)
Healed.
The word is engraved on a bracelet and tied with a red string around Corey McKenna's wrist.
It was one of the last surprises his wife, Jen, left for him. It was supposed to go on her wrist when she came home from the hospital after a transplant that would replace both of her cystic fibrosis-riddled lungs.
Things didn't turn out that way.
Corey found the bracelet in Jen's safe, next to her engagement and wedding rings.
"This, I have no idea who gave it to her, no idea where it came from. She just said, 'There are things in the safe I want to wear when I come home,'" Corey said, fiddling with the bracelet. "I probably stood at that safe for 20 minutes and bawled because I didn’t know about it. At that point, I felt compelled to wear it. In a sense, she is healed now. She’s in heaven and breathing freely, so I look at it as she is healed.”
He hopes more will be revealed.
“There’s going to be one day that somebody’s going to say, ‘Hey, I gave that to Jen.’ That’s my hope. And that they see me wearing it. Whether it’s tomorrow, a year from now, five years from now, somebody here (in Coeur d'Alene) gave it to her. It might even be at her service. Who knows?"
Standing near a Tubbs Hill trail where he and Jen once walked their dog and gazed out over the lake, Corey spoke Tuesday morning about his wife’s last moments and what the world has been like without her.
Jen was 41 when she died June 27 after developing complications from the double-lung transplant she underwent in May at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill.
"The typical answer would be I’m OK, but I’m really not," Corey said. "I’m heartbroken, devastated, shattered. Life has been turned upside down when we didn’t expect it."
The cystic fibrosis had wrecked Jen's body to the point that her oxygen intake was at 5 to 7 percent when she went in for the surgery. Her heart was fine. Her new lungs were beautiful. But Corey said her other organs began to shut down. They just couldn't keep up with everything.
"I came into the room and she saw me. I immediately knew something was wrong," he said. "Her eyes were yellow, which means her liver was having issues. In the meantime, [her care team] decided to put her on dialysis."
The sutures around the transplant wound couldn't heal properly, and in her weakened state, her surgeons knew she would die on the operating table if they tried to fix anything.
"For a person who wasn’t compromised, they would go right back into surgery. They’d open you up, they’d fix it and sew you right back up. It might delay your healing process, but they would fix it. They couldn’t fix hers. They basically said, 'There are no other options,'” he said, his voice breaking.
“Probably the second-hardest thing I ever had to do was tell her what was going on, that there was this problem and that they couldn’t fix it and there was nothing they could do,” Corey said. “And of course, the hardest thing I had to do was say, ‘She’s ready.’”
Jen's mother as well as her husband of nearly 15 years were by her side when she died. What felt like a million years was probably just a couple minutes, Corey said.
"At that last moment, she opened her eyes and looked right at me, and then was gone,” he said, tears streaming. "Her mom and I, we looked at each other and almost simultaneously said, ‘She’s not here anymore.’ We knew her spirit was gone and all that was left was her body. And we both felt it."
For Jen, Corey will participate in the Alohaman Extreme Triathlon in December without a support team to honor the way she fought cystic fibrosis on her own every day of her life. He said any extra funds they’ve raised for Jen's journey through the Children's Organ Transplant Association will be put in a pool to help the families of children with cystic fibrosis.
A celebration of Jen’s life will be held at 1 p.m. Aug. 17 at Coeur d'Alene Bible Church, 5350 N. Fourth St. in Coeur d'Alene. Anyone and everyone who knew Jen is welcome to come and share the joy that she brought to so many people. Guests are encouraged to wear purple for cystic fibrosis and green for organ donation.
Corey will wear Jen’s "Healed" bracelet.
He’ll carry her memories with him always.