Not-so-golden globes: On the outs with awards season picks

Nobody should take the Golden Globes too seriously. Really, nobody outside the movie industry should take any movie awards seriously, and that includes those apparently prestigious Academy Awards.

I’m telling this to myself. I shouldn’t care. I don’t have any stake in the game. Breathe. Serenity Now.

OK, but what’s going on here?

“Green Book” won multiple Golden Globes and recently received prestigious nominations from the directors, producers and screen actors guilds. I know the movie is a genuine crowd pleaser, but the craft just isn’t anywhere near the level of some (heck, many) other major motion pictures this year.

Before I continue my griping, I will say that it’s perfectly fine to love “Green Book.” I might be totally wrong about it, and it’s good that many different kinds of movies get accolades at this time of year. In most cases, it really is just a matter of personal preference.

Now back to the griping. Given its pre-Oscar performance, “Green Book” could be in line for several major nominations at the Academy Awards, and it might even be a strong contender to win the Oscar for Best Picture. What?

I wrote about my issues with “Green Book” several weeks back, so I won’t spend too much time complaining again. Mostly, I found the movie’s central relationship to be superficial and old-fashioned in all the wrong ways. The movie has a well-intentioned message about kindness and equality, but it undermines those points by following outdated and patronizing storytelling tropes.

The Oscar race also includes at least two other movies I’m not crazy about: “Vice” and “A Star is Born.” I like quite a bit of Bradley Cooper’s epic love story, especially Lady Gaga’s incredible performance, but I also think the movie peaks way too early with “Shallow,” then struggles with tone and perspective changes in the second half.

“Vice” is an absolute mess of a movie, minus a couple of good performances. It doesn’t have anything to say about Dick Cheney that hasn’t already been said several times over. I loved Adam McKay’s “The Big Short,” but this movie is a big, fat whiff, in my opinion.

The biggest story out of the Golden Globes was the Best Drama win for “Bohemian Rhapsody,” the Freddie Mercury biopic that enthralled audiences but frustrated critics last fall. I love Queen, but I never had a huge urge to see the movie, and I still haven’t seen it. The Film Twitter Universe is telling me to be outraged by its victory, but I simply have no opinion about it. At least it’ll be out on home video soon (Feb. 12).

Since the Academy stretched the Best Picture race beyond the traditional five slots a few years back, I’ve been pretty mixed overall by the Academy’s selections. Some of the movies I love, others not so much, but usually I can find a reason to respect the choice.

Despite my personal reservations, “A Star is Born” should definitely be a Best Picture nominee. Cooper made several dynamic choices to separate the film from its previous iterations, and it obviously made a huge impression on audiences. Again, I haven’t seen “Bohemian Rhapsody,” but everything I’ve seen, read and heard suggests to me a more traditional music biopic, especially compared to what’s going on in “A Star is Born” (which, to be fair, is a fictional tale).

“Green Book” and “Vice” I just don’t see as deserving at all. They’re the messiest likely Best Picture nominees in recent memory. OK, so maybe they’re on the level of Best Picture nominees like “Hacksaw Ridge” or “The Blind Side,” or last year’s “Darkest Hour,” where good performances mask some of the more gaping missteps.

Again, none of this really matters. They’re just movies, and we all can like what we like. Anyway, the Oscar race still includes a few movies I’m crazy about, including “Roma,” “BlacKkKlansman” and “The Favourite.”

But if “Mission: Impossible — Fallout” fails to earn a single stinking Oscar nomination, I’m gonna riot. Sound editing. Visual effects. Sneak it into the Live Action Short category if you have to. Anything!

FYI: You can read all about my favorite movies of 2018 in Saturday’s Coeur Voice section of the Coeur d’Alene Press.

- • •

Tyler Wilson can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com