Oh, I wish ...

Luke Pitzo parks at the corner of Nostalgia and Curiosity.

As it turns out, that’s often smack dab in the middle of a grocery-store parking lot.

The affable and articulate graduate of the University of Wisconsin is one of 12 “Hotdoggers,” brand ambassadors for Kraft Heinz’s iconic Oscar Mayer hot dogs. His job is to traverse the country in a 27-foot fiberglass hot dog. On Sunday afternoon, Pitzo and colleague Amanda Boyd, both 22 years old, stationed their Wienermobile in front of Yoke’s Fresh Market in Post Falls.

The Wienermobile — which was first introduced in 1936, the brainchild of Oscar Mayer’s nephew — is built on an RV chassis. Its 6.0 liter V-8 motor gets roughly the same mileage as a large truck and runs on premium gasoline. The vehicle weighs six tons — about twice as much as a Chevrolet Suburban — has six seats, boasts a ketchup- and mustard-themed interior and has, yes, really, a removable “bunroof.” Piloting the garish wheeled frankfurter requires 25-30 hours of certification training with the Madison, Wis., police department. Practice begins behind the wheel of a massive SUV with some of its windows covered to mimic the Wienermobile’s blind spots.

Pitzo said the interior’s build quality rivaled a private jet. The gleaming machines may well cost as much, too: Pitzo said he wasn’t sure what Wienermobiles went for because they never sold on the secondary market — they typically go to museums like The Henry Ford in Detroit, where Oscar Mayer himself got his first job as a butcher boy after immigrating from Bavaria at age 14. Still, he assumed customers with a soft spot for the brand would “pay a pretty penny.”

Pitzo declined to give the Wienermobile’s top speed and diplomatically said the vehicle was able to travel comfortably at highway speed. “It handles well,” he said, adding the visibility out the front was great because the driver sat up high. “We haul buns.” A backup camera assists when reverse gear is called for.

Boyd’s official Hotdogger name — each of the 12 picks his or her own call sign — is “Miles of Smiles Mandy.” Pitzo goes by “Lunchmeat Luke.” The cutesy nicknames mask the fact that the Hotdogger position is one of the biggest gets for a new marketing grad. Statistically speaking, it’s easier to get into Harvard. The gig lasts a year, and it’s 12 months on the road. Monday is the team’s travel day, which means about 400 miles or eight hours on the road. (Today the hot dog duo will be traveling to the Boise area.) Once the Wienermobile arrives, it makes local visits for the rest of the week, handing out beloved Wienermobile whistles, taking selfies with fans — Pitzo esimated he and Boyd pose of 300 photos at each event -- and often giving away samples from the grill van, which typically parks nearby.

This Wienermobile is assigned to the West Coast region. After six months on the road, the Hotdoggers are reassigned to another region and switch partners.

The best part of the Hotdogger’s job, Pitzo said, was the double-takes he consistently sees people do when they first spot the Wienermobile. “They’re not expected to see a 27-foot hot dog out their window. People love it” and stick their phones out the window to snap pictures.

Boyd and Pitzo said, with relief, that they’d never been in an accident in the Wienermobile. “We tend to be pretty careful not to scratch our buns,” he deadpanned.

Pitzo said he was looking forward to visiting Portland and Los Angeles, where he’s never been. “This whole area’s new for me,” he said.