Loud parents, mystery gas, and other ref tales (Part 4)

Part of a series

There are indirect ways for officials to get their message across to coaches, as Mike Curtis discovered years ago.

Curtis remembered a game in his first year as head girls basketball coach at Post Falls High.

“We went the state tournament and I was ranting and raving, and this (ref) comes up and stands by the scorer’s table and says, ‘You know, this guy over here is getting kinda upset, and I really don’t want to give him a technical — his kids are playing hard,’” Curtis recalled. “He wasn’t talking to me; he was talking to the person at the table. But I got the message. He didn’t want to be confrontational; he just wanted me to get the message, that I was putting him in a bad situation, and he was going to have to light me up.”

Years later, after Curtis had retired, Post Falls was looking for a coach for the middle school girls ‘B’ team.

“Hell, I’ll do it. I’m not coaching for the money, anyway,” Curtis figured.

“So I’m coaching away. At the time, Dave Corbeill was the commissioner (for District 1 basketball, the person who assigns the officials to games). And we had Dave Corbeill and Dan Malcolm (two longtime, experienced refs) officiating. Because I couldn’t find any officials. For a ‘B’ girls game, really?

“So I called Dave, and he gets ahold of Dan, and there they are, officiating a ‘B’ girls basketball game. They wouldn’t blow a whistle until after the fifth step on a travel. They were doing it for beer money, and I was paying them out of my back pocket. And this parent is just ripping them new ones.

“And Corbeill came over in the second quarter and said ‘Curtis, Jesus Christ dude, remember how much I’m getting paid here? Can you get that parent off my (rear end)?’

“I called timeout and walked over and said (to the parent), ‘If I hear one more word, if those guys (refs) hear one more word, I’m going to have to call the police and have you escorted out.

‘Not a problem, coach,’ the parent said.

“And it wasn’t.”

LARRY BIEBER recalled one year, roughly two decades ago, when the bigger North Idaho schools like Lake City, Coeur d’Alene, Post Falls and Sandpoint combined with eastern Washington schools like Cheney, East Valley, West Valley, Colville and Clarkston, when he took his Coeur d’Alene boys basketball team up to Colville.

“When we got there, everything was cordial,” he recalled. “The minute the game started, it was absolutely crazy. The Colville officials called us for everything. We couldn’t even breathe. When you’re somewhere where you think you hear “Dueling Banjos” going off in the background, it’s kind of scary.

“Four of my players fouled out. And a couple others had four. They were in the one-and-ones in like the first four minutes of the game. And it didn’t get any better the second half.

“We did end up beating them, but it was only by the grace of God, because they tried everything they could to throw that game. One of (the refs) was the dad of one of the players.”

“Well we have trouble finding officials,” Bieber said he was told by Colville officials, “so if it’s OK with you ... ”

MARC ALLERT recalled a game when he was coaching the Post Falls junior varsity boys at East Valley.

“I was kneeling on one knee in front of our bench coaching kids on the bench right at the beginning of the game,” he said. “The referee ran by and said something I didn’t hear. I didn’t think much about it and kept talking to the kids. Next thing I know a whistle blows and he is standing above me telling me I have to sit down or stand up. I ask if I was in the coaching box and he said ‘Yes.’ I ask if I was in his way and he said ‘No.’ I stand up and look down at him (he was a shorter guy) and he blows his whistle, gives me a ‘T’ and says, ‘Sit down!’ Looks at his partner and says, ‘If he says a word, toss him.’

“This is about 2 minutes into the game and I haven’t said a word to either official.” Allert said.

“The player sitting next to me on the bench was Jeremy McLean (brother of Mike McLean, Post Falls boys varsity basketball coach). I looked at him and said, ‘Good chance you’re going to end up coaching this game.’

“I don’t think I made it to halftime,” Allert recalled.

“Not sure why, but that guy didn’t like me. Feeling was mutual after that game.”

We’ll end this chapter on a real stinker, this one from Allert again.

“While I was playing, we were just lining up for the jump ball. Someone must have been a little nervous for the game because all of sudden there was a nasty smell. The official steps in to throw the ball up and then steps back and says, ‘Jesus, who farted?’ Then he says, ‘Go back to your benches; we can’t start a game like this.’

“He goes to the scorer’s table and acts like he is looking at the book and then says, ‘OK let’s try this again.’”

COACHES: If you are a current or former coach in North Idaho, and have stories you’d like to share of crazy bus trips, humorous encounters with officials (or umpires) or bizarre occurences during games, feel free to email me at mnelke@cdapress.com

Mark Nelke is sports editor of The Press. He can be reached at 664-8176, Ext. 2019, or via email at mnelke@cdapress.com. Follow him on Twitter@CdAPressSports.