Get verbal, non-verbal messages on the same page

Editor’s Note: The following is part three of a three-part series by Nils Rosdahl on non-verbal communication.

Communications always goes on. There is no such thing as not communicating. You need to be skilled at sending the message you want to send. Keep in mind, however, that this communication may be filtered by either party: Some filters are stress, illness, hunger, weariness, interruptions, weather, perception, pre-occupations.

We need to make choices that affect our first impressions. Make sure your verbal and non-verbal messages don’t contradict each other. The non-verbal message is what will be believed. So non-verbal communication should reinforce our verbal behavior rather than replace or contradict it.

Therefore, behaviors to avoid are: 1. Indirect eye contact, 2. Nervous mannerisms, 3. Poor posture, 4. Inappropriate dress, 5. Any distracting action 6. Intruding on personal space, 7. Inappropriate scent, 8. Shifting of eyes (lack of interest), 9. Leaning away, 10. Folding arms (closed door, not interested).

Remember the things you can control. Develop them, practice them. Use people you know. People subconsciously are pleased when you mirror them; never be so obvious that you may appear to be mocking them, however.

Use these for your own image in your communicating. Use it in your writing for interpreting and making your writing more interesting. Using the senses through what you notice non-verbally making your writing more real and alive.

Non-verbal miscues: When students interview each other in class, hand each one individually one of these non-verbal miscues. See if the critics in the audience can pick up on them.

- Mumble.

- Avoid getting to the point.

- Talk too fast.

- Talk too slow.

- Gradually invade his/her space.

- Sit too far away.

- Avoid eye contact.

- Ask questions that don’t relate to the subject.

- Jiggle your pen or leg.

- Tap your pen.

- Twirl your hair.

- Pick your nose or ear.

- Do most of the talking yourself.

- Argue with the person.

- Write constantly.

- Chew gum or tobacco or smoke.

- Act disinterested.

- Don’t introduce yourself.

- Mispronounce their name.

- Use an inappropriate handshake.

- Act like the opposite sex.

- Mimic the other person.

Now for the Tidbits

- Imagine Simplicity Makeup & Esthetics is in Suite D at 7352 Government Way.

- Anytime Fitness will host a grand opening at 1 p.m. Saturday at 1116 E. Sherman.

- White Brick Interiors will be in Riverstone.

- Wake Up Call Coffee will be in the former Taco Time building at 2517 N. Fourth.

- The new Bakery by the Lake will be on Coeur d’Alene Lake Drive.

- T-Blue Boutique (formerly Tiffany Blue) is adding a third store, this in Hayden Creek Plaza, 8134 Government Way.

- Alpine Animal Hospital is building a new clinic at Kathleen and Player Drive.

- Watch for several new places in the Rockford Building at 504 E. Lakeside.

- A Maverik gas station-convenience store is under construction at State Line. And a new Maverik will be built in the southwest corner of Government Way and Dalton Avenue.

- Credit unions under construction in Rathdrum are P1FCU and STCU. And Mountain America Credit Union will be in the former Inland Northwest Bank building in Post Falls.

- HuHot Mongolian Grill will occupy the former Payless Shoes space and more in Ironwood Square.

- AutoZone is building a new place at Highway 54 and Sylvan Lane in Athol.

- An At Home store will be in the former Kmart building at Neider and Highway 95. Other retail and/or restaurant space will be in the former garden area to the west.

- North Idaho Blueprint will move to Hayden.

- A Crown & Thistle “Coming Soon” sign is at 107 N. Fourth.

- New places coming are Pokeworks and Union Coffee.

- Release Float Spa will be at River City Plaza off Highway 41.

- Consign Furniture will build a new structure in Riverstone.

- Roger’s Ice Cream & Burgers, already with two places in Coeur d’Alene and one in Post Falls, is building a fourth, this one at 8833 N. Hess St. in Hayden.

- Franz Bakery will move from 1220 Government Way to 500 W. Dalton.

- Lush Intimate Apparel will move from 206 E. Indiana Ave. to Suite 1 at 1111 E. Sherman. Details later.

- Paragon Brewing will open its new building at 5785 Government Way soon.

- Coeur d’Alene Vision Source is building a new place at 3879 N. Schreiber Way.

- Velvet Hammer Boutique will be a new retail clothing store in Riverstone.

- Staybridge Suites hotel is under construction in Riverstone. A Marriott Fairfield Inn is planned for nearby on Ironwood.

- A new building for Idaho Central Credit Union is under construction at 1327 W. Appleway.

- North Idaho Eye Institute has a building under construction across from the Hayden library.

- Contact Nils Rosdahl at nrosdahl@cdapress.com.