Dress for success? It certainly helps

Editor’s Note: The following is part two of a three-part series by Nils Rosdahl on non-verbal communication.

Of our communication, 68 percent is non-verbal. In first impressions, 93 percent of our communication is non-verbal. What people think of us after a first impression is how they perceive us.

Areas of non-verbal communication include:

2. Dress/Style

- Clothing (and how you wear it) can indicate your stature (farmer overalls, woodsman flannel, businessman white shirt and tie, professor sweater).

Clothing can intimidate (uniform from military, police, medical sterile white, clergy robes, gangs). It can indicate history and values (hippies), culture (bright colors), and be important in first impressions.

Don’t forget about non-clothing objects — jewelry, backpack, fanny pack, notebooks, matchbook cover, leather briefcase vs. box vs. backpack, pocket protector nerds, how you hold a cigarette, flip a magazine.

In the waiting room in a medical office, magazines are on a table. A person reading one has a bad cold, continually coughing. To help her flip the pages, she licks her fingers. Do you want to read that magazine after her?

- Color (in order of power — Black, navy blue, brown, gray, ivory, red, white, yellow, green, beige, pink, orange. However, much has to do with how you feel about yourself in a certain color — confidence.

- Furniture, pictures, trophies, how they’re arranged and kept. Cleanliness.

3. Paralanguage: About 38 percent of all meaning is transmitted by the voice. Besides choice of words, consider the following factors:

- Rate (speed of talk) — Slowness shows control.

- Volume — High volume indicates desire to get control.

- Pitch (lower is more control).

- Tone (“Don’t talk to me in that tone of voice.”)

- Choice of words (academic, lingo, trends).

- Emphasis of words (Emphasize each word separately — “He’s giving the money to her?”).

- Drama (Energy).

- Hesitation, pauses (Never as long as you think they are).

- Interjections, stuttering — “like-a, you know, anyway.”

- Grammer (“He seen the car yesterday” — ruins chance for job in interview).

- Accents (regional, foreign), pronunciation.

When we were kids, my dad would read us comic books. One character was Yosemite Sam. Although he knew better, maybe to entertain my mom, Dad would pronounce it “Yoze Might Sam.” That was the only way I heard the name when I saw it in print. In a university geology class, the professor had me read to room full of students. I read “Yoze Might” instead of “Yosemite.” I didn’t know why they all laughed until a classmate told me.

4. Proxemics, aka Space: Depends on culture; in some, closer is better. Can be territorial; people on death row like to be at least 4 feet apart.

- Inappropriate for interviewing, 6 inches

- Personal space, 2 feet or less

- Intimate, 2-4 feet, best for interviewing

- Best is corner of table, allows both comfortable barrier and openness. Boss communicates best using “equal” chair rather than the one behind his desk.

5. Olfactory: Smell. Body odor, perfume. Best scent is no scent. Avoid removing “unseen” shoes.

6. Touch: Being able to touch increases sociability, shows empathy, establishes a bound. Touching the elbow is the safest because it is sensitive (the crazy bone), hard with bone, and meaningfully close to the heart.

7. Time. Choosing the place, time; being early, on time or late. Be first or last for a job interview. They remember you. Your paperwork is more obvious. The secretary remembers you. Never be too early; phone if you’ll be late at all.

8. Tactics: Combining all of the above with your knowledge and control.

A friend became a municipal court judge. She was very tiny, with a soft voice and pretty with hair curls and makeup. Her first day was a disaster. She couldn’t see over the podium and did not control the courtroom. She immediately went to a counselor who had her cut her hair, get rid of the makeup, talk louder and lower and get a hidden booster for her chair. It worked great.

Next week, we’ll talk about how communication can be filtered by both parties.

Now for the Tidbits

- The new Bakery by the Lake will be on Coeur d’Alene Lake Drive.

- T-Blue Boutique (formerly Tiffany Blue) is adding a third store, this in Hayden Creek Plaza, 8134 Government Way.

- Alpine Animal Hospital is building a new clinic at Kathleen and Player Drive.

- Watch for several new places in the Rockford Building at 504 E. Lakeside.

- A Maverik gas station-convenience store is under construction at State Line. And a new Maverik will be built in the southwest corner of Government Way and Dalton Avenue.

- Credit unions under construction in Rathdrum are P1FCU and STCU. And Mountain America Credit Union will be in the former Inland Northwest Bank building in Post Falls.

- HuHot Mongolian Grill will occupy the former Payless Shoes space and more in Ironwood Square.

- AutoZone is building a new place at Highway 54 and Sylvan Lane in Athol.

- An At Home store will be in the former Kmart building at Neider and Highway 95. Other retail and/or restaurant space will be in the former garden area to the west.

- North Idaho Blueprint will move to Hayden.

- A Crown & Thistle “Coming Soon” sign is at 107 N. Fourth.

- New places coming are Pokeworks and Union Coffee.

- Release Float Spa will be at River City Plaza off Highway 41.

- Consign Furniture will build a new structure in Riverstone.

- Roger’s Ice Cream & Burgers, already with two places in Coeur d’Alene and one in Post Falls, is building a fourth, this one at 8833 N. Hess St. in Hayden.

- Franz Bakery will move from 1220 Government Way to 500 W. Dalton.

- Lush Intimate Apparel will move from 206 E. Indiana Ave. to Suite 1 at 1111 E. Sherman. Details later.

- Paragon Brewing will open its new building at 5785 Government Way soon.

- Coeur d’Alene Vision Source is building a new place at 3879 N. Schreiber Way.

- Velvet Hammer Boutique will be a new retail clothing store in Riverstone.

- Staybridge Suites hotel is under construction in Riverstone. A Marriott Fairfield Inn is planned for nearby on Ironwood.

- A new building for Idaho Central Credit Union is under construction at 1327 W. Appleway.

- North Idaho Eye Institute has a building under construction across from the Hayden library.

- Contact Nils Rosdahl at nrosdahl@cdapress.com.