Can't get that roar out of my head

I’m trying to enjoy a typical fall Saturday, with college football on the tube, except ...

... Rory McIlroy just rolled in another long putt for the European team, and he’s pumping his fist and going through a lot of other excited-looking gyrations.

THE MORNING slate of football games is a little lean, so I stumble upon the Cardinals and the Cubs. I not only watch but, for one of those rare times, I find myself rooting for the Cubs, because beating the Cardinals is good for the Dodgers. Not that they need the help, but why not? No one has helped them with Colorado — the Rockies’ opponents all but rolled over for them this past week.

“The Diamondbacks just love beating the Dodgers,” a TV guy said earlier this week.

So apparently the Diamondbacks just don’t give a darn about beating the Rockies, scoring all of two runs in getting swept in a three-game series vs. Colorado last weekend. Then Arizona took 2 of 3 from L.A. Of course.

The Cubs eventually lost to the Cardinals. Thanks for the help.

Meanwhile ...

... Ian Poulter just rolled in another long putt for the European team, and is violently beating his chest. Heart doctors, is this a good idea? We used to think it was a good idea to beat on a television to make it work. But a heart? ...

FORTUNATELY, EASTERN Washington comes on the air, at Montana State on Root Sports. Jeff Choate, in his third season as head coach in Bozeman, has the Bobcats playing better and better. But they’re still not at Eastern’s level, and the Eagles are in control of the game in a 34-17 victory.

Still, my thoughts drift back to earlier in the day, when ...

... Some guy with long hair named Fleetwood — but not from Fleetwood Mac — rolls in another putt to win the hole against the U.S. He then celebrates with his European teammate — a recent major champion who only golf diehards would recognize.

Together, Tommy Fleetwood and Francesco Molinari team up to take down Tiger and Patrick Reed for the third time in two days.

Go your own way, Tommy.

IDAHO TAKES the field against Portland State, in the Vandals’ first Big Sky Conference home football game since 1995. Between refreshing the Pluto TV feed, we notice Idaho jump out to a 20-0 lead. With no TV, it spares us from flipping through the channels during breaks in the action, which would have undoubtedly led to ...

... Another showing of the day’s Ryder Cup highlights — or lowlights. And there’s Poulter again, draining another long putt. And now he’s screaming. Can’t make out the words, but it might be, “... If you want my body, and you think I’m sexy ... ”

AN HOUR later, Washington State’s game with Utah starts — on A Channel We Still Don’t Get. Apparently there was a controversial targeting call on the Cougars, but we’ll have to wait until later to judge for ourselves. Meanwhile, it seems ...

... There’s Sergio Garcia sinking another long putt for the Europeans — and he’s pumping his fist, and doing all sorts of other body gyrations. American fans have cut Serge some slack in recent years — they no longer count his waggles as he stands over his ball, and before he pulls the trigger. Plus, he finally won a major recently, and also found love. Still, when he’s back playing in the Ryder Cup and helping put it to the Americans ... maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing if a semi barreled across the green and bashed into him and his playing partner as they celebrated one of them sinking still another long putt to win a hole from the Americans.

MAYBE THIS Ryder Cup thing means more to the Europeans. Maybe it means something to the U.S., too, they just don’t play as well in a team setting, or playing best-ball or alternate shot, or playing under that kind of pressure — especially on the road. In late September. Wearing stocking caps.

Whether the 12-foot putt is to keep your match alive in the Ryder Cup, or to keep yourself alive in the horse race at the local club championship, there’s still pressure.

Luckily, in the case of the Ryder Cup at least, we have two years to figure out how to deal with all this angst.

Mark Nelke is sports editor of The Press. He can be reached at 664-8176, Ext. 2019, or via email at mnelke@cdapress.com. Follow him on Twitter@CdAPressSports.