Paige was a sage about age

Hey there, it’s Chat Day, and I’m thinking about age.

My own, actually.

There are just 12 shopping days left until my birthday, in case you were wondering.

What got this thing going about age is that two fairly young women, in separate incidents, asked me how old I was.

Now, there are a couple of ways you can take that ...

One, you can imagine you look far younger than what it says on your birth certificate, and the ladies were interested enough to ask.

Two, you look like hell and the women were thinking: “This guy isn’t going to make it through the week.”

I normally don’t worry about age at all.

It seems like the wisdom of baseball legend Satchel Paige is good enough.

“How old would you be,” Satch once asked, “if you really didn’t know?”

In other words, if you woke from a coma with no recollection of your life and somebody asked your age, what would you guess?

OK, enough of this.

I’m older than Lady Gaga, if you must know.

As for you, Celine, I’ll need to see some proof.

Now let’s move

along ...

ITEM: Perhaps you’ll recall my whining about the fact that with the closing of Stein’s grocery store in Rathdrum, its tenant Subway shop also went dark.

And I’m a huge Subway fan.

Anyhow ...

Can’t tell you how I know this, but there’s serious talk of a new, standalone Subway store opening in Rathdrum sometime within a year.

Cool news.

Meanwhile, I’ve begun meandering over to a local deli called, with great imagination, The Local Deli.

If you haven’t found it, look north across the street from the Super 1 parking lot on Highway 53.

The food is excellent, but maybe even better is a slogan that covers almost an entire wall in huge letters.

It says ...

“Life is Like a Sandwich. You Have to Fill It with the Best Ingredients.”

Amen to that.

ITEM: Sigh, one more item about age.

It’s too good to ignore.

Reader Larry Frei sent along a copy of his Christmas letter from 2017. He does one every year to let friends know he hasn’t died of hypothermia since he, wife Shermane, and Sosi the poodle moved to North Idaho from Arizona.

(In truth, Sosi was adopted in Utah, but why ruin a good theme?)

Here are the lightly edited paragraphs from Larry’s letter that I love ...

“Shermane is well, physically fit, socially active and as energetic as ever. I, on the other hand, am enthusiastically embracing antiquity.

“I content myself with activities like window shopping online for headstones.

“Occasionally, I do abandon my recliner to follow Shermane and the dog around the neighborhood, harvesting dog poop in little plastic bags as we go.

“It’s the only reason they take me along.

“I have also been contemplating the invention of an advance moisture detection device for imminent flatulence.

“My motivating factor is that of sparing my senior posterior the discomfort of current technology — which ‘Depends’ on absorption.”

ITEM: Great Britain is considering an end to one of the country’s great traditions – the ability to buy booze 24 hours a day at any of the nation’s airports.

The service has been typically offered because of the round-the-clock nature of air travel.

The push to halt drink service was spurred by a number of passengers who got way too lit before hopping on a cheap flight, and complaints from budget airlines about the last-call exemption for airport bars.

The Civil Aviation Authority had 417 incidents of disruptive passengers last year, up from 98 in 2013.

Before Brits and tourists to the U.K. get completely up in arms about all this, however, I suggest they fly in or out of Spokane any time after sundown.

Forget about a cocktail.

You can’t find a cup of coffee or a Snickers bar.

It’s no surprise that passengers heading for Spokane are usually carrying bags with enough food and drinks to handle a large family picnic.

But I’m not complaining.

I’ve lived in the U.K. and flown in and out of British airports so often that it feels like the gate agents are family members.

So I can tell you ...

There’s nothing quite as much fun as boarding a seven-hour flight and finding yourself seated next to a guy who is absolutely hammered.

I’ll take the peace and sanity of Spokane every time, thank you.

•••

Steve Cameron is a columnist for The Press.

A Brand New Day appears from Wednesday through Saturday each week.

Steve’s column on Gonzaga basketball runs on Tuesday.

Email: scameron@cdapress.com

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