Today's ghastly groaner

Benny Shapiro worked at the Metropolitan Museum of Art as a cleaner. One day he happened to be working around the Arabian exhibit, and, while dusting an ancient urn, an enormous genie appeared before him.

“Master,” the genie said, “I am the Genie of the Urn. I can grant you three wishes, but there is one condition: You must never shave or cut your beard for the rest of your life, or you will be forced to take my place inside the urn forever.”

Benny decided this was a reasonable compromise for three wishes, so he wished for 49 percent of Microsoft stock. Then he wished for the most beautiful woman in the world as his wife. Finally, he wished for fame and instantly became a worldwide celebrity.

Over the years, Benny’s beard became longer and more unkempt. It began to itch. He tried to ignore it, but the itch became unbearable, while the memory of the genie’s warning faded.

Finally he decided he had to get rid of the beard and he shaved it off. There was a flash of light, and he found himself trapped in the urn forever.

It just goes to show, that a Benny shaved is a Benny urned.

— Don Barron, Worley

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Laughter really is the best medicine, so let’s “medicate” together.

Send your best bad, corny, punny jokes. Keep ’em clean and don’t be mean.

Email your ghastly groaners, with your full name and hometown, to: mdolan@cdapress.com.