When your ice cracks, do this
This is the last of a two-part series asking why Idahoans are committing suicide in increasing numbers, and what we can do to help prevent a needless death.
You die alone.
Perhaps there will be family and loved ones present — they can even hold your hand — but however it comes, death is a singular experience.
Thus, there is a cruel irony in the ever-growing number of Idaho suicides, as so many victims often choose this awful decision because …
They feel alone.
The sensation comes in many forms as a person gradually falls into depression, believing that somehow he or she doesn’t fit in a hopeless world that is swirling around endlessly.
Naturally, we always notice celebrity deaths — recently it’s been fashion designer Kate Spade and television chef Anthony Bourdain.
Despite all their fame and money, Spade and Bourdain somehow slipped into the same dark, lonely place as an Idaho high schooler who sees a grim, hopeless future that must be endured alone.
Statistics tell us that one person in the state will commit suicide every day, nearly 400 in a year.
When you talk to counselors, family members or nationally known psychologists, they all come back to a few key triggers for suicide. Conversations can spin in all sorts of directions on the issue of identifying someone who might become suicidal.
Who might be walking down a street or around a campus with dark, dark thoughts beginning to overwhelm everything?
And how can we help them?
Clinical social worker Barbara Mace-Tucker of Coeur d’Alene suggests that most people who have thought about suicide — or even attempted it — know all about the path that can lead them to tragedy.
“I have a client,” she said, “who says she feels like she’s walking on ice. Very thin ice.
“When she hears a crack, she knows immediately to get help. That’s what others should do — understand where to go when they hear that crack in their lives.
“That’s when you need a counselor, a help line, your family, a friend, maybe a member of the clergy. You have to reach out as soon as you hear that first crack, not once the ice breaks.”
SPEAKING of people to seek out, state Sen. Mary Souza, R-Coeur d’Alene, believes that close ties within families is the single best deterrent against suicide.
Souza worries about the same thing with her children as pretty much all other children.
When her kids were in school over on the Pacific Coast, Mary said she listened to every hint in each phone call.
“If I even thought there was something wrong, something that could get worse, I was in the car right then,” she said.
“What if your child is angry about something? Anger turned inward becomes depression. I never wanted to wonder how bad it might get.
“If they need family, you have to be there.”
Meanwhile, the Idaho Legislature is trying to offer a little help.
A bill has been passed requiring that all educators get suicide prevention training.
SCHOOLS themselves are doing their best to stay vigilant.
Nichole Piekarski, head nurse for the Coeur d’Alene School District, notes that staff and teachers should look for the three most prominent danger signs: something upsetting or a crisis in a person’s life; substance abuse involving alcohol or drugs; and a combination of means and opportunity to commit suicide.
“We’re hoping to promote positive coping skills, and if someone is in trouble, get them connected to other people,” Piekarski said.
There it is again, the battle to avoid feeling alone.
Hey, the world may look like crap. But since we know we can’t save it …
Let’s get together and save each other.
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Steve Cameron is a columnist for The Press
A Brand New Day appears Wednesday through Saturday each week. Steve’s sports column runs on Tuesday.
Email: scameron@cdapress.com.
Twitter:@BrandNewDayCDA