Today's ghastly groaner

One day, Roy Rogers saw a fancy pair of cowboy boots in the general store. They had hand-tooled leather that any cowboy would love to show off.

Roy decided that he had to have that pair of expensive boots, and so he went out and captured desperados for the reward money, rounded up cattle, broke broncos — anything he could do to raise the cash to buy those boots. Finally, after a lot of hard work, he had enough money to make his purchase.

Roy was very proud of those boots, and all the cowpokes and townspeople stood gazing in admiration at his fancy footwear.

One day, when Roy went into the bunkhouse where he had left them, he saw the beautiful boots torn to shreds! He surveyed the damage in the bunkhouse and suspected that a wildcat that had been reported prowling around the ranch had snuck into the bunkhouse when no one was there, chewing up everything in sight including bedding, clothing, and, sadly, his boots.

Roy was furious as word quickly spread about what had happened. The townspeople saw a resolute Roy head out into the far reaches of the ranch — finding that wildcat.

He searched high and low, and just before sunset he saw the vicious wildcat on top of a bluff. The cat saw him, too, and was about to leap at Roy, when he pulled out his gun and blasted the cat.

Roy had his revenge. He hoisted the dead wildcat up onto his horse right behind his saddle and he rode back to town.

When he arrived, the townspeople spotted him and his victim, and all sang as one (to the tune of “Chattanooga Choo Choo”), “Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?”

— Lavonda Hays, Post Falls

•••

Laughter really is the best medicine, so let’s “medicate” together.

Send your best bad, corny, punny jokes. Keep ‘em clean and don’t be mean.

Email your ghastly groaners, with your full name and hometown, to: mdolan@cdapress.com.