Some like it hot. They're crazy

There’s nothing funny about 100+ degrees — unless you’re the kind who laughs at the poor sucker who leans unwittingly against his car in the parking lot.

It’s a scientific fact that some folks turn surly when the thermometer gets bubbly. It’s as if the heat evaporates their patience. You don’t want to be directly ahead of these hotheads in traffic. You don’t want to be sitting next to them at the bar. And you sure as heck don’t want to end your day by telling them, “Goodnight, dear.”

But back to our problem. Forecasts are calling for high temps in the Coeur d’Alene area Thursday of 103, which is two degrees short of the Aug. 9 record set in 1980 but a long, long way from comfortable.

There are just two things you can do, really:

1. Get takeout for dinner.

2. Try to laugh.

We can’t help you with No. 1, but here’s a down payment on No. 2: Ten decent “How hot is it?” jokes we rounded up on ye olde internet.

- It’s so hot, birds are wearing oven mitts to pull worms from the ground.

- It’s so hot, the Statue of Liberty has been asked to please lower her arm.

- It’s so hot, people are setting their houses on fire so they can cool off.

- It’s so hot, Jehovah’s Witnesses are telemarketing.

- It’s so hot, I got condensation on my rear sitting on the toilet.

- It’s so hot, two trees are fighting over every dog.

- It’s so hot, chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

- It’s so hot, they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.

- It’s so hot, the catfish are already fried when you catch ‘em.

And:

- It’s so hot, no shirt, no pants — no problem!

Here’s hoping your air conditioner doesn’t have a wicked sense of humor.