Nielsen manages to waste two bucks

Some things really do get simpler in this age of technology.

For instance, we are now a Nielsen family — that is, me and Sammie the Cat.

Yes, we have officially been selected by the famous Nielsen Co., television’s premier rating service for more than 50 years, to share our viewing choices.

This is a big deal, because I have never been chosen to rate anything. Nor have I been asked about my choice when leaving a voting booth or phoned for my opinion in any kind of poll.

Think about that.

It’s almost impossible, in this age of trackers and preferences and so forth, to be ignored.

I mean, millions of people get asked every day what deodorant they use, but no one ever has approached me to learn what I think about anything.

IT’S NOT like my favorite music, food or brand of beard trimmer are a secret, though.

Facebook knows them all. Amazon, for sure.

As a matter of fact, if Nielsen really wants to know our TV favorites, why not ask Mark Zuckerberg or Jeff Bezos?

If I run out of whey protein for my daily smoothie, I’m quite sure Amazon will have an email waiting with several promotional protein deals when I log on to any device.

Maybe they can even send it to my blender.

Google not only knows everything about me, but also where I am at any given moment.

I started to type in “restaurants” the other day, and before I could go any further, the search engine had spit out the name of a few local spots in Rathdrum — even though I don’t live there and had just arrived in town.

My phone stays off on the golf course, because I’m sure that when I was playing Twin Lakes Village, the thing would have squawked to life unbidden on No. 6 tee and said, “Don’t worry about the pond on the left. You still have to get on that side of the fairway for a clean shot at the green.”

It makes me want to scream: “Fine, you hit the shot, then.”

For that same reason, I NEVER use a device that tells me where to turn when I’m driving.

It would be too much to hear a voice say, “You passed your destination 400 yards ago, moron!”

WHICH BRINGS me back to Nielsen, the TV tracker.

It’s kind of cool to be selected, especially since they enclose $2 as payment.

I’m afraid, however, that I’m not going to earn my dosh.

The very first question was this: “How would you rate the quality of TV programming today?”

If I answer that question honestly, they probably won’t seek any further opinions — nor will they part with another two bucks.

Seriously, I think Nielsen will get a lot of responses like mine.

“No, we hardly ever watch network TV (or we don’t even get it in the house), and the only time we turn on the set is for streaming services like Netflix and Amazon.”

In my case, a 55-inch TV set rests mostly idle.

I watch streaming shows on my Kindle or computer, and only fire up the TV for sports events I really want to see.

On top of that, my favorite teams all stink at the moment, so the giant television is beginning to gather dust.

I don’t think that’s what Nielsen is wanting to hear.

In fact, despite the thrill of finally being selected for something, I’m shocked that Nielsen is still in business.

But hey, thanks for the $2 on your way out.

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Steve Cameron is a special assignment reporter for The Press. Reach Steve at: scameron@cdapress.com.