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Hey, listen up, all you OBEs (Offended By Everything)

by Bob McADAMS Special to
| October 25, 2017 1:00 AM

Being offended by everything doesn’t make for a strong person. So how do we treat the easily offended so as to make them stronger and able to withstand any offensive language?

When traveling to Mexico we are warned not to drink the water because we will become ill. One way to overcome this is to gradually ingest more and more water. After all, Mexicans drink the water every day without getting sick. Americans who have moved to Mexico become acclimated to the bacteria in the water over time. They develop a strong immune system by introducing foreign bacteria into their body little by little.

So. My solution to the OBEs is to begin to offend them little by little, gradually increasing the offenses over time. With proper coaching and support, they will develop thicker skins and will become more able to cope with life’s challenges.

Each one of us can become a Counter Coddling Coach (CCC). The training to become a CCC is simple. Start off small by saying small offenses to random people with a smile on your face.

Most of your involuntary students will be Wimpy And Always Hurt individuals (WAAH). They will be resistant at first, but you must be persistent with your small offenses. After they become used to the small offenses (remember to smile), you can proceed to bigger offenses. After a while, if they show progress by looking forward to their next offense, it indicates they aren’t lacking either of the common sense or critical thinking DNA genes. They then become former WAAHs and are eligible to become a CCC themselves.

Coach just three people to become CCCs, and train them to do the same. In no time, all of the WAAHs will become CCCs, and eventually, we will have a world full of Bold Rash And Victorious Emissaries (BRAVE)!

Problem solved!

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Bob McAdams is a Coeur d’Alene resident.