Listen and learn from Ann's sad romantic tale
The eternal search for a soul mate, modern technology and the light speed of the internet make for a very dangerous but tempting combination for many seeking love. This mix has not been lost on crooks, scammers, thieves, con artists and perverts. The bad actors depend upon the honesty of the majority of us. I am receiving more and more calls every week, regarding online dating sites and scams.
The following is a true account that almost destroyed one young woman and could have left her with devastating psychological scars. We’ll call her Ann. Recently, I have received a number of calls from men and women with similar tales of woe and sadness, some with tragic psychological and financial outcomes. With Ann’s approval, in hopes of helping others avoid similar situations, I will relate the following facts:
Ann was in her mid-30s, recently divorced, had a great job, a master’s degree in business from a major university, and owned her own home. Ann was your typical smart, attractive, professional woman. Due to her heavy workload and very busy schedule, she decided to cautiously enter the world of online dating.
Her first step was to take necessary and prudent precautions. She used a well-known dating site, which masked her real name, address, email address and telephone number, as well as other information that could expose her true identity. She cautiously entered information into her profile indicating her areas of interest, including the fact that she was an accomplished scuba diver, world traveler and a lover of animals. She also indicated that she was active in politics, financially secure, involved in the life of her church, and wanted to be married again and raise a family.
Whenever she “met” an interesting man on the website who seemed to have potential, she made a “coffee date.” She would arrange to meet for coffee in a public place, taking precautions not to expose her identity. Remember, TMI (Too Much Information) is NEVER a good thing (especially on a first meeting). Most of the men she met were nice enough but there were “no sparks.”
One day she received an email from a man approximately her age. He was an investment banker. He was out of town on an extended travel and business trip. He owned and flew his own plane. Due to his considerable wealth, and some previous bad experiences, he kept his address and other identifying information very confidential. After numerous, long and detailed email exchanges, he agreed to give Ann his confidential cell telephone number. They then had many conversations, sometimes several per day, talking about themselves, their hopes and dreams. Not to be taken in, each kept their personal identifying information confidential.
After a few weeks, Ann suggested that they needed to meet for coffee, soon, and in a public place. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another — he was always busy or on his way out of town for an important business meeting. He did send her a photograph of himself, his plane, and his dog. Things went along for over a month. Ann told her sister and father about the new man in her life. Needless to say her dad was very happy for her, but her younger sister became suspicious. Younger sister pressed Ann to either meet the guy in person or end the online relationship. Ann finally succumbed to her sister’s persistent demands, and insisted on an in-person meeting with her online friend. The meeting was set, but at the last minute, Ann’s friend called and frantically explained to her that his father had a serious stroke and was not expected to last more than 24 hours. Ann’s friend called her while he was en-route to the airport to fly back east to be with his dying father, and assured Ann he would call upon his arrival in Connecticut.
A few hours later, a “very close friend” of Ann’s new friend called and informed Ann that her friend was involved in a serious plane crash in Indiana, and was not expected to survive. A few hours later, Ann’s father received a hysterical call from Ann informing him that her friend had died as a result of the plane crash. A few days later the “friend” sent Ann a copy of the text death notice in the local Indiana newspaper. Ann was devastated and inconsolable.
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ENTERS THE SUSPICIOUS SISTER: Ann’s younger sister wasn’t buying the endless excuses (read BS). Younger sister started doing some detailed investigation and soon uncovered the fact that older sister’s friend was a local 62-year-old con artist, married and with a family. He was attempting to set up Ann for heaven knows what. When Ann insisted on meeting in person, the con artist was forced to “kill off” the made-up character, and end the ruse before he was discovered. Little sister uncovered the scam and saved her sister, and maybe her money, her job, and her sanity.
Ann’s dad got involved and called the local police vice squad and sex crimes unit. A very sympathetic lieutenant in the department contacted the con artist, and after an in-depth interrogation, explained that while no actual crime had been committed, unless the con artist detailed and admitted the attempted scam in writing, the detective would conduct an in-depth interview of the con man in the presence of his wife. That was the end of that.
Because of the support of her friends and family, the harm done, in this case, was only temporary. With the help of her family and friends, Ann overcame the intense trauma.
PERSONAL NOTE: I know this story to be true — it was my daughter. Today she’s married to a wonderful, devoted man, with a bright and happy daughter — my granddaughter (and her sister is still watching out for her!).
LESSON: Online dating, for young or old, can be VERY dangerous. If you do it, be careful, and tell your friends and family what you’re doing.
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REMEMBER: I’m in your corner.
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I have many more tips and interesting cases that I’m working on as The CDA Press Consumer Guy. Call me at 208-699-0506, or email me at BillBrooksRealEstate@gmail.com or fax me at 866-362-9266. Please include your name and a phone number. I am available to speak about consumerism to schools, and local and civic groups.
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Bill Brooks is the CDA Press Consumer Guy and the Broker and Owner of Bill Brooks Real Estate in Coeur d’Alene.