Resolution to (cough) even the score

WHEREAS, the state of Washington in general and the city of Spokane quite specifically have hoisted upon Kootenai County the highest water quality standards on Earth because they’re afraid of a little extra fizz in the Spokane River once it crosses ye olde state line headed west,

and

WHEREAS, entities within Kootenai County are having to pay millions of bucks to treat said water, which is already cleaner than the swill that originates in and around Spokane, raising our taxes and our ire concurrently,

and

WHEREAS, those rascals to the west have been trying for years to claim rights to our wondrous water source, the Rathdrum Prairie Aquifer, as their own by outrageously renaming it the Spokane Valley-Rathdrum Prairie Aquifer (or in even more egregious instances, the Spokane Aquifer),

and

WHEREAS, Washingtonians can’t keep their wildland fires to themselves, disbursing their unhealthy and unsightly smoke eastward in unprovoked but consistently successful attempts to pollute our skies each summer, burning our eyes, searing our lungs (cough) and scaring off our tourists,

and

WHEREAS, if we have to pay for their water standards, not to mention lost tourism revenue,

and

WHEREAS, it’s almost the Fourth of July and Coeur d’Alene will be flooded with Spokanites who can’t wait to splash around in our contaminated water, for free,

and

WHEREAS, residents moving here from California are more welcome than visitors from Spokane,

then

BE IT RESOLVED that Spokane, Spokane County and the State of Washington produce posthaste a check for millions of bucks, made out to Kootenai County, for expense and aggravation greatly exceeding neighborly standards.