Athol mom's mission: To help parents of stillborn infants
Courtesy photo Sara Staples and her husband, Cory, spend a somber moment holding their daughter, Charlotte, who died in the womb shortly before being delivered July 5, 2013. Sara is raising funds to give Kootenai Health a CuddleCot, a cooling device that goes in the bassinet to preserve a deceased baby’s body. This gives families more time with their child before saying goodbye forever.
Courtesy photo The Staples family wears "Sister of an Angel," "Dad of an Angel" and "Mom of an Angel" shirts in this fall 2014 photo as they sit by the bear the hospital gave them when Charlotte was born. Charlotte was stillborn and would have been 4 on July 5.
Courtesy photo Sara Staples holds her rainbow baby Katherine (first baby after a loss) as she stands with her husband Cory and older daughters Madison and Helena in this 2015 photo. Madison is holding the teddy bear the family calls the "Charlotte Bear." The bear was given to them the day Charlotte was born, the same day they had to say goodbye to her forever.
ATHOL — The day had arrived.
Sara Staples and her family were eager to welcome their new baby, Charlotte, into the world. The nursery was ready. Their hearts were full of joy and hope. Staples' check-up was scheduled for July 5, 2013, Charlotte's due date.
"We were so excited to hear her always strong heartbeat, to see how much she had grown in a week and see what our next step would be with our doctor," Staples said.
But then: "That happy moment was short-lived."
The strong heartbeat had stopped. A knot had formed in the long umbilical cord, which had wrapped around the baby's neck twice.
The day the Athol mommy was expecting to bring a new life into the world turned into a day that would bring her pain forever.
"My heart literally dropped into my stomach," Staples said. "The sadness in my doctor's eyes said it all."
Instead of giving birth to a screaming baby girl and crying tears of joy, her labor was induced to give birth to a stillborn baby. The only sound in the delivery room was Sara sobbing.
Sara and her husband, Cory, had only a short time to spend with Charlotte. They went from preparing to spend a lifetime with her to having to say goodbye in just a few hours.
"I would have loved to be able to paint her fingernails or toenails, have that bonding that I will never be able to do, and you only have one chance to do it," Sara said. "They let me stay in that room for as long as I possibly could."
Charlotte Ann would have been 4 this year. Since her passing, Sara and Cory have had two rainbow babies — Katherine and Weston — who joined their older sisters Madison and Helena, who were born before Charlotte. Rainbow baby is a term used to describe a child born after a loss.
The Staples made it through one of the most difficult human tragedies imaginable, but Sara knows if she would have had more time with Charlotte, the grieving process could have been better. Now 36, Sara has discovered the CuddleCot, a cooling machine that preserves the baby's body to give bereft families just a little longer with their angel.
"You only have so much time. That is the most treasured part," Sara said. "People need to understand that grief is forever. You need to have the way you want to grieve and have as much time as you need to love on your child, to hold on and love them in that little bit of time. Once you say goodbye, it's forever. And I don't think people get that."
Sara is working with Kootenai Health Foundation to raise the $3,500 necessary to bring a CuddleCot to Kootenai Health, including delivery, warranty and an engraved plaque. She wants to give other grieving families the precious time she was never afforded.
"The statistics are staggering. One in 160 pregnancies will be affected by stillbirth," Sara said. "These families will never bring their baby home, will never experience the firsts that we all dream about."
Meghan Smith, nurse manager of the family birth center, said the hospital sees fetal loss and miscarriages across all stages of pregnancy with an estimated 20 stillbirths a year. Kootenai Health would be one of the first hospitals in the region to offer a CuddleCot.
"This is one of the most difficult times in their lives," Smith said. "We focus heavily on providing the best experience possible to our patients, whether it's a positive outcome or a fetal loss. This provides us with another tool we can use to assist our patients through a very difficult time."
Sara's goal is to present the CuddleCot to Kootenai Health on Charlotte's birthday. So far, she has raised nearly $800.
"When you meet Sara, it is immediately apparent how much love and empathy she has in her heart," said Britt Towery, Kootenai Health Foundation manager. "Sara reached out to Kootenai Health to determine how she could help other parents in a similar situation as her family. Her purpose and passion with this fundraising project is admirable and serves as a beautiful way to keep Charlotte’s memory alive."
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To help Sara achieve her goal of bringing a CuddleCot to Kootenai Health, visit www.kh.org/foundation and click on “Give Today.” Choose “Children’s Services” under designation and in the comments section list “Cuddle Cot-Infant Loss.” If mailing a check, send to: Kootenai Health Foundation, 2003 Kootenai Health Way, Coeur d’Alene, ID 83814, and designate in the memo line “Cuddle Cot-Infant Loss.” Info: www.flexmort.com/cuddle-cots