They still remember
DEVIN WEEKS/Press Lake City Church’s executive pastor Rodney Wright pauses for a moment Saturday during the 14th annual Ceremony of Remembrance, where about 100 people placed ornaments on Christmas trees to represent loved ones who have died. Wright spoke of the importance of being in the moment and cherishing loved ones, absent and present.
Many who attended the Ceremony of Remembrance in Lake City Church on Saturday wrote the names of loved ones who have passed on ornaments that were placed on Christmas trees. “Love never dies,” said ceremony organizer Joanie Dwyer. (DEVIN WEEKS/Press)
Friends and families gathered for breakfast in Lake City Church in Coeur d’Alene on Saturday morning before the 14th annual Ceremony of Remembrance. At least 100 people attended the ceremony to honor the memories of loved ones who have passed away. (DEVIN WEEKS/Press)
COEUR d’ALENE — With silent tears, they slid ornaments bearing their loved ones' names onto the limbs of Christmas trees.
Many lingered for a moment that gray Saturday morning, staring at the names of those they will always hold dear but will never again physically hold.
"I thought it was comforting and it was emotional. It was helping to keep my sister-in-law alive," said Roberta Manthos of Coeur d'Alene. "We came to support my brother. It was his wife who passed away. Val... It's the season, it's hard, as you know. We just lost her this summer, so it's pretty fresh."
Tears fell for moms, dads, sisters, brothers, grandparents, friends, pets and others during the 14th annual Ceremony of Remembrance in Lake City Church.
At least 100 people attended the ceremony, which is annually organized to serve as a time of healing and hope for those who are grieving around the holidays.
"People really need some place during the holidays to honor their loved ones," said Joanie Dwyer, ceremony coordinator and longtime grief counselor for Lake City Church. "It's a minefield of emotion, especially when it's your first or second year in a loss."
Dwyer took a grief class 16 years ago when her husband died and has now been teaching the class for 13 years.
"It's become my calling and my passion to help hurting people," she said.
During the ceremony, Dwyer and her colleagues read the long list of names of deceased loved ones provided by those in attendance. As the names were called, the survivors made their ways to one of the two Christmas trees to pay their respects and send their love to those who have left.
"We read all the names that anyone wants to remember," Dwyer said. "We take on the lives of the people we love and it adds to our lives and we spread that to other people. Grief is really what's right with us, not what's wrong with us. It is the way God's given us to work through loss.
"Love never dies and relationship never dies. It becomes a relationship of memory."
The ceremony also featured heartfelt words by Rodney Wright, Lake City Church's executive pastor.
He spoke of pain, anger, confusion, remorse and the unstoppable tide of emotion that accompanies death.
He shared stories of loss that he or someone he knows personally experienced — a young son of a friend who died from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, a high school friend who committed suicide, a cousin who accidentally mixed pills and alcohol and never woke up, a boy killed in a hunting accident.
"It’s hard to get our mind around that kind of loss and the ‘whys.’ There are so many stories that come to my mind," Wright said. "I have to admit sometimes there are questions that we never get answers to or reasons why, but it’s OK to ask those questions... Pain causes us to struggle and to ask, ‘Why? Why is there pain? Why is there death?’ and the honesty of expressing that pain of our heart and living with that."
Wright made the point that for those who are still on Earth, their words, actions and how they care for others, absent and present, is important.
"Give gifts. Be present. Let's offer forgiveness and not hold grudges... Be a part of the answer, not a part of the problem," he said. "What we do and who we love, being in the moment — it matters."
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Lake City Church offers Grief Release workshops several times a year. The next one will be Tuesdays from 1 to 3 p.m. Jan. 9 through Feb. 6. in the Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Road. Workbooks are $10 per person or $20 per family.