A journey through adoption: Worth the Tripp

Editor's note: This is the first in a two-part series presenting the journeys of two families who chose to adopt. Today is National Adoption Day and November is National Adoption Month.

The sad news that a Post Falls couple could not conceive a child did not leave their hearts heavy for long.

Chad and Brionn Tripp dived right into the process of adoption, and the results expanded the love in their home threefold.

"We went from the heartache of not being able to have kids — that really crushed you, you know, because all we wanted was a family," Chad said Thursday evening. "And the second we made up our mind that we were going to adopt, it was like, 'boom, boom, boom,' and things just flowed right through."

Brionn said she had premonitions when she was young that she would adopt. She had cousins who were adopted, and when she and Chad were first dating she told him she had a feeling they would adopt children.

"And then lo and behold, when I was 28, we found out we couldn’t have any kids,” she said.

Rather than go through the emotional and financial roller coaster of in-vitro fertilization, they chose adoption. Brionn said it wasn't an agonizing decision to make; they both agreed it was the best journey for them.

"The way I felt about is if God really wanted us to have children, we could naturally,” Chad said. "He didn’t want us to have them for some reason, so we went this way instead of fighting in-vitro."

On Brionn's 30th birthday, they completed the paperwork through Spokane Consultants in Family Living and in less than six months were matched with the birth mother of their unborn son. They met the teenage mom-to-be when she was five months pregnant and developed a strong, positive relationship with her before their child was born.

On Jan. 20, 2010, Brionn and Chad brought their three-day-old son, Evan, home.

"When we brought Evan home, Chad and I had overwhelming feelings of joy, excitement, sadness and fear," Brionn said. "For us, there were many feelings that came into play... birth parents are placing their infants with adoptive parents. There is excitement and sadness, loving and loathing that happens for both parties. It's hard to put into words the exact feelings we truly experienced in the first few days after we brought Evan home."

When Evan was about 2, the Tripps felt it was time for a sibling. They went back to Spokane Consultants for Families but then heard from Donna Euler, the adoption program director of Idaho Youth Ranch, who called to let them know she had a birth mom who was struggling to find a match with adoptive parents and the Tripps aligned with her requirements.

Their portfolio was submitted among seven, and they weren't expecting to hear back.

But they did receive a call from Euler, and Chad and Brionn were about to fall in love again...twice.

"She asked me if I was sitting down and I was like, ‘Yeah,’ and she said, ‘This birth mom chose you guys, she’s really excited to meet you,” Brionn said. "And then she proceeded to tell me that it’s healthy babies, and the mom had a healthy pregnancy. And I was like, ‘Whoa, back the train up, did you say babies? Like, two?'"

Surprised but excited, the Tripps prepared to add two more babies to their home. The day they were to meet with the birth mother of their twin sons, she had an emergency C-section and the boys came into the world about seven weeks early.

"The next day we went back and it wasn’t until the evening time that we went back and met these little peanuts," Brionn said, comfortably squished on her living room couch between Chad and their three sons.

Because the twins were early, their young birth mom spent two weeks in the hospital, which gave the Tripps time to get to know them.

"That was the best thing for everybody involved," Brionn said. "That was the start of our relationship with her because we didn’t have the building blocks to do that with her previously like with Evan’s birth mom. To be able to go to the hospital and see her every single day and talk with her about life situations, love, these guys, it was great. It was helpful for her and helpful for us."

"It’s hard to spend that much time in the hospital, but looking back on it, it was time well spent," Chad said. "Not only for these guys’ health, but for everybody’s building blocks to have a relationship."

Twins Chase and Shea, now 4, completed the Tripp family when they arrived home May 3, 2012.

The Tripps have great open relationships with the birth moms and keep in close contact, sending photos and updates as the boys grow.

"The more time goes on, I’ve decided that it’s not about the labels of birth parents and adoptive parents," Brionn said. "It’s more about coming together as a family and having them be aware of the truth. The more people that are around them to love them, the better off the family dynamic is.

"Through all the research and reading that I did and still continue to do about open adoption, I’ve learned that just being open and honest with the kids from the very beginning is the best outcome in later life," she continued. "They say to normalize adoption and who their birth parents are between the ages of 4 and 7 and you have better outcomes later in their teenage years."

Adopting all three boys cost Chad and Brionn nearly $45,000 for which they received a bank loan, but they did receive tax credits once the adoptions were complete.

But Chad said money is not that big of an obstacle when you really want a family.

"For us, it was really kind of spine chilling about how things worked," he said. "Doors open. You don't have to push them open or fight them open, they just open on their own and you just walk through the door. We stand back sometimes and look at it and go, ‘Wow.’"

Brionn said a crucial part of the adoption process is person-to-person counseling, which is provided locally by Euler's program at Idaho Youth Ranch. Euler has been with the program 30 years and is dedicated to helping parents on both sides with making the right choice.

"Adoption is so complicated," Euler said. "People go online and get conflicting information. It's overwhelming and they don't know where to start. We spend a lot of time with families helping them sort out what type of adoption would be best for them and helping sort through that process."

Euler said in 2015, 53,500 children were adopted from foster care while almost 23,000 aged out without having a family adopt them. Idaho has a huge need for adoptive parents as well as foster families who can take children into stable homes on a temporary basis, she said.

"Adoption is a really long and arduous process, and it's emotional for people with fertility issues," she said. "But in the end, it's so worth it."

Brionn and Chad are grateful their adoptions went so quickly and they realize it can be longer for others, but they agree it is worth the wait.

For information about adoption, fostering or support for pregnant moms, contact Euler at 667-1898 or visit www.idahoyouthranchadoptions.org.