Day of Dialogue offers support, empowerment for women

COEUR d'ALENE — "Don't be perfect, be brave. Tell that voice in your head to shut up — and just do it. Be who you are. If you are really afraid to do something, then it is something that you should do."

These were the closing words of wisdom from four local businesswomen as they discussed their strategies in success at the third annual North Idaho College Day of Dialogue event Wednesday afternoon.

The panel consisted of Ali Shute, executive director of the Coeur d'Alene Arts and Culture Alliance; Barbara Pleason Mueller, co-founder of Gizmo-CDA; Jamie Lynn Morgan, co-owner of Rubber Tire Adventures; and Kerri Thoreson, Post Falls City Councilwoman, writer and columnist.

While the event focused on accomplished women in North Idaho, the strategies apply to everyone. About 75 people listened, laughed and snacked on sandwiches and salad in the Lake Coeur d'Alene Room of the Edminster Student Union Building at NIC.

Pam Thompson, director of social services for Kootenai Health, was the keynote speaker for the event. With the theme of "Breaking through! Imagine, Define, Act," Thompson described her "recipe" for doing just that.

The first thing, she said, is that a person needs to clearly visualize what it is he or she wants.

Since Thompson was a young girl, she knew she wanted to be "extraordinary."

"What does extraordinary look like?" she asked the crowd. "Well, for me it's going to look different than for you. But I had a vision of what I thought extraordinary would be and I began building that definition for myself, that vision for myself."

Thompson said she grew up as a pig farmer and her mother had once asked her why she wanted to go to college — only "smart people" went to college, to which she had replied, "I guess I better start acting smart."

This led Thompson to the second ingredient

of the recipe: "If you want to be something, you have to start acting it." Despite her mother's words, Thompson received straight As throughout college and graduate school and she has overcome many challenges to reach her goals.

The third ingredient of Thompson's recipe

is to decide on the desired level of commitment. She told a story about a woman named Sally whom she worked with at her first job as a social worker. She was afraid of Sally, she said. Sally had told her everyone makes a difference before they die — they either make no difference, some difference or a big difference.

"I didn't want to be 'no difference,' and I certainly didn't want to be 'some difference,'" Thompson said. "Because, as I told you, I'm extraordinary. A commitment is essential to whatever it is you want out of life and you want to go after it."

The fourth thing on the recipe is to quit "stinking thinking," which she described as self-talk that people use to hold themselves back.

The next step, which she said is very important, is to find a mentor. Many of the women on the panel couldn't think of just one mentor that they have had.

Thoreson said she "collects" interesting and smart people. Morgan and Shute agreed with Thoreson that they pull ideas and wisdom from many others in their lives. Mueller was the only speaker who was quick to say who she holds as her mentor: Mary Lou Reed, of Coeur d'Alene, who is also a former Idaho senator. She said Reed keeps her honest and challenges her, playing a role in her life that most others do not. She added that Reed taught her another important point about mentoring.

"Not only do you want to have a mentor, you want to be a mentor," Mueller said.

The final ingredient in Thompson's recipe is to work on a task every day toward a specific goal. She noted by a show of hands that many people in the audience prepare a "to-do" list.

"What I want you to start doing is to put, at the top of that list, the values that are added toward that goal," she said.

The room filled with laughter when she added, "And don't make your bed."