Crouching tigers, Tanners and demonic farm animals
Sixteen years ago, director Ang Lee led a martial arts epic to Oscar glory. The original “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” was a massive critical and box office success, combining dazzling visuals, innovative fight choreography and impassioned storytelling.
Arriving a solid decade past relevance, the sequel, subtitled “Sword of Destiny,” retreads the original’s story beats between sequences of competent-but-perfunctory skirmishes. The film was released last week on Netflix Instant streaming alongside a handful of IMAX screenings across the country. No need to find an IMAX screening, because “Sword of Destiny” hues closer to straight-to-video fare.
The key ingredient to the original’s success, director Ang Lee, has no association with "Sword of Destiny." Instead, legendary fight choreographer Yuen Woo-ping (“The Matrix, the original “Crouching Tiger”) sits in the director’s chair, and the various fight scenes are… fine.
Unfortunately, the story is a patched-together outline of the original without the benefit of fully-realized characters.
Curiously, the movie’s actors speak entirely in English, a distracting shift from the original that completely disregards the film’s time and place. Michelle Yeoh is the only returning cast member, though her storyline is, again, just a watered-down version of what happened the first time around.
Maybe it shouldn’t be surprising that “Sword of Destiny” is merely a cash grab based entirely on the name recognition of “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” Considering the time gap between the original and the sequel, as well as Netflix’s recent film offerings (“Beasts of No Nation,” and several compelling documentaries), I guess I was expecting something more thoughtful.
Unfortunately, “Sword of Destiny” has more in common with the company’s relationship with Adam Sandler and “The Ridiculous Six” than it does with its more acclaimed efforts.
“Cut. It. Out”
In the case of Netflix’s baffling revival of the saccharine ABC sitcom “Full House,” I couldn’t have had LOWER expectations. I watched the original show religiously as a kid, because I was a dumb kid and kids will watch anything.
The enduring popularity of the show is unquantifiable, and the fervent reaction to the announcement of its sequel, “Fuller House,” only amplifies the mystery to me.
But even I couldn’t resist the idea of seeing where the Tanner clan ended up 20 years later. As it turns out, nothing has changed. The first episode of “Fuller House,” in addition to being the pilot of the new series, is basically a reunion special to the original show. It’s wall-to-wall winking and references to the nauseating stuff we inexplicably loved two decades ago. Joey does the Bullwinkle voice. Stephanie says, “How rude!” and Uncle Jesse sings that song his band made famous in Japan.
It’s pretty terrible. Or I suppose it’s terrific if you can still tolerate episodes of the original show. Point being, “Fuller House” is basically “Full House” lost in time.
“The Witch”
I would never claim to be an expert in the horror genre, and, at least to me, there only seems to be a handful of good ones in a given year.
“The Witch,” a Sundance breakout last year, is a staggeringly assured debut from first-time director Robert Eggers. It follows a deeply religious family in the 1600s banished from its settlement and facing supernatural forces in the woods.
Though well-reviewed by critics, the film has struggled with mainstream audiences, earning an atrocious Cinemascore on exit-polling in its opening weekend. Some of the blame can be attributed to its marketing, which pitched the film as a traditional horror movie complete with cheap jump-scares designed to startle teenagers away from their Snapchat accounts.
“The Witch,” appropriately subtitled “A New England Folk Tale,” is more an exercise in building dread through circumstance, character and some seriously deranged imagery of demonic farm animals.
The dialogue consists of thick, Old English, another likely sticking point for teen horror fans, and the impeccable historical detail connects provides a fascinating portal into life in early America.
While some may say “The Witch” is more unsettling than traditionally scary, it hardly matters when the filmmaking and story execution is so good. Seek it out in theaters while you can.
The last word on the Oscars
Last week, I griped about how the Academy would probably ignore the true best picture of the year, “Spotlight” in order to reward “The Revenant.”
In this case, I love being wrong. “Spotlight” is the finest Best Picture winner since 2007’s “No Country for Old Men.” Plus “Mad Max: Fury Road” cleaned up in the technical categories. In such a controversy-riddled Oscar season, at least the Academy got some things right.
Tyler Wilson can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com