How to save the DC movie universe

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I didn’t review “Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice” in last week’s column.

Here’s my belated three-word review: What a mess.

Rather than pile more harsh words onto the critically-reviled movie, I think it’s best we move forward and offer ways to fix what went wrong with Zack Snyder’s garbled, humorless slog of a superhero epic. Snyder begins shooting the follow-up, “Justice League,” this month, and he obviously needs some help if he wants the DC cinematic universe to follow the success of Disney’s Marvel offerings.

Some free advice:

Don’t Reboot.

The last things we need are more retellings of the Superman and Batman origin stories. While Snyder and Warner Bros. have put themselves in a deep, deep hole, the best way to dig out of it is with the core components already in place.

The cast is right. Henry Cavill could be a good Superman if he was given a character who actually resembles what we love about the Man of Steel. You’ve got an excellent precedent set by Christopher Reeve. This shouldn’t be hard. At this point, I’d take a hollow impersonation of Reeve over whatever the hell Cavill is brooding about in “Man of Steel” and “Dawn of Justice.”

Amy Adams as Lois Lane is perfect casting, so give her something to do. In “Dawn of Justice,” almost every scene she’s in is setup for Superman to rescue her.

Gal Gadot looks the part as Wonder Woman. Now Snyder and co. need to give her a story and personality.

“Dawn of Justice” is overstuffed with plot, and, after two movies, Snyder has proven himself incapable of dramatizing Superman. Luckily, VAGUE SPOILER ALERT, “Dawn of Justice” ends at a point where Superman doesn’t necessarily need to be too involved in the next installment. If you can’t do the character right, best not to do it at all.

Let Batfleck loose.

Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne is the best thing about “Dawn of Justice.” After all the fanboy whining about his casting, Affleck is one of the few things everyone seems to like about the movie. I can’t yet say if he makes a good Batman because Snyder does very little with the character except give him guns to murder his adversaries.

Affleck’s hardened, smug Wayne is an interesting interpretation of the character and one that definitely should be explored in a solo-Batman project. Rumor has it Affleck already wrote a draft of the screenplay, and the powers-that-be are urging Affleck to direct the project. Even if you still aren’t sold on Affleck-the-actor, Affleck-the-director (“Argo,” “The Town”) is extremely bankable.

Dump the slo-mo,

blob CGI.

Part of what made Christopher Nolan’s “Dark Knight” trilogy so memorable was its reliance on practical stunts. Computer animation was used as a last resort. In “Dawn of Justice,” the overproduced action sequences are empty and weightless, and the slow-motion, “money-shot” visuals are laughable and overly-abundant.

The film’s big bad, Doomsday, is a blob of fungus with rocks poking out of him. It looks terrible.

“Dawn of Justice” reportedly cost more than $250 million to produce. Where did the money go? The film only has three real action sequences, and two of them seem like they were filmed in front of green-screens.

Put the money on the screen. Talk to Tom Cruise about how he goes about staging action in the “Mission: Impossible” franchise. At this point, I believe in Cruise’s ability to fly more than Superman’s.

Lighten Up.

Superheroes are supposed to be fun. “Dawn of Justice” is the opposite of fun. I don’t understand the target audience for a movie like this. Yes, those who grew up with Batman and Superman want to see a story they can engage and relate to as adults. But shouldn’t the movie still be appropriate for kids? I don’t know why stores are filled with “Dawn of Justice” toys because the movie isn’t anything a kid should see or even want to see.

If you’re going to make a bad Batman movie, I’d much rather see a goofy-stupid version over a dreary-stupid version. The George Clooney starrer “Batman & Robin” is more entertaining and rewatchable than “Dawn of Justice.”

So please, Zack Snyder, add a little levity to the “Justice League” movie. It co-stars Aquaman for goodness sake. And if you can’t bring yourself to do it, there’s still time to quit. I’d rather see Joel Schumacher take a swing at “Justice League” before you. At least we might get Arnold Schwarzenegger and some groan-worthy ice puns.

Tyler Wilson can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.