Liars: Look for the 'tells'

Mark Twain said a man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

As depressing as it may seem, according to mounting research outlined in Tuesday's column, lying may be almost as common as breathing, at least for more than 60 percent of us. While pathological liars are different - more manipulative than average people and so better skilled at masking or controlling the typical signs - most people give clues when they lie. These are involuntary physical reactions generally born of nervousness at being discovered, guilt, or remorse.

According to various researchers, psychologists, and at least one veteran federal agent, these are common signs of lying:

* Inconsistencies: Law enforcement knows this one well. Look for illogical elements in a story, things that don't fit. Psychologists say liars tend to talk a lot to bolster lies, and all that talking over time is harder to recall when it's fiction. In conversation, try staying quiet longer and see if they trip over their own words.

* Poor responses to unexpected questions: Those who falsely claim knowledge or experience rarely have specific, verifiable answers to questions. Most expect simple acceptance of what they say confidently, rather than a test.

* Repetition and too much detail: Silence makes liars uncomfortable, waiting for signs of being believed, so they fill silence by overdoing it. They may repeat phrases to create more time to come up with the lie, or ways to convince you of it. They often give more than you ask for; beyond rambling they seem to offer explanatory or lie-supporting detail without being prompted.

* Covering part of the body, especially the mouth: Look for a hand to the mouth, covering it or perhaps a brief touch. This may be the subconscious closing off of full communication (the lie). They may instead cover some other vulnerable part, such as head, neck or stomach; lying makes most people feel more susceptible to exposure, eliciting a protective instinct.

* Angling for escape: Got to love the subconscious. Instinct drives someone lying (vulnerable to being caught) to seek an escape route, such as angling the body toward the door, standing close to one, or changing posture to a more erect-and-ready stance. Some simply glance at the exit when telling a lie.

* Words and body-language mismatch - the microexpression: Lying with the body is much harder than with words. Is someone smiling or physically animated while telling a sad story? Unusually relaxed when describing a stressful situation? It's hard to fake emotions. Even those who fake it generally display "microexpressions" - that split-second break (which research shows most listeners miss or dismiss) with a brief shift of expression inconsistent with what they want you to think they feel.

* Breathing: Lying changes heart rate and circulation, so people generally breathe more heavily when they lie. Some may feel dry in the mouth and short of breath.

* Eye movement: What direction are they looking, and is that shifting? A liar may or may not look you in the eye, but most looks change direction when the lie happens (or subconsciously glance at that escape route). While potentially detectable in any lie-teller, this works better with people you know, whose eye patterns you're used to.

* Aggressive demeanor: Liars, especially habitual ones, can get directly or indirectly aggressive in a conversation for no apparent reason, pointing, raising a voice, staring perhaps. Almost daring you to challenge veracity. If you do, habitual and pathological liars often turn the tables to make you feel guilty about it rather than answering directly.

* Fidgeting: Liars often fidget as an outlet for that nervous energy, and this tends to be true for most types of lying because all liars are nervous about getting caught. Tapping of the foot (escape again) or on the knee, playing with hair, rubbing an ear, and so on.

Keep in mind before making conclusions that people may do one or more of these things for other reasons. Gauge against the baseline. Some of these behaviors are common to certain physical and mental conditions or diseases, which have nothing to do with veracity. Expert advice is to consider what is normal for the person and circumstance.

Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network who considers honesty inextricably linked to compassion. Contact her at Sholeh@cdapress.com.