Opinion: 'Twas the night before the war on Christmas

‘Twas more than a month before Christmas, when all through the town

not a creature was stirring, not even a camel or kitten — but maybe a clown.

Nativity scenes were placed on a lawn with great care, in hopes that Fox News soon would be there.

When out on the Hayden lawn there arose such a clatter

Reporters and photogs scrambled to see what was the matter

And what to their wondering eyes should appear,

But the 3%ers — ready to kick rear!

They all were united in one Christmasy cause

to defend all the Christians under assault from —

Wait a second. Under assault from whom? From what?

In his quest for national publicity, Hayden resident Jeremy Morris is allegedly pitting his small but righteous Christian army against the pagan multitudes surrounding him, liberals who delight in ruining Christmas and maybe slaughtering a few Christians along the way.

There’s one tiny problem, though. Christians in Hayden and Kootenai County aren’t under siege. They are far and away the dominant religion, and if you doubt that, check out any Christian denomination on any Sunday. It’ll be tough because parking is hard to come by.

Morris isn’t stupid; he knows this. But according to his ideological playbook, all’s fair in religion and politics. He’s only too willing to divide and humiliate our community, much as outsiders tried with the Hitching Post non-story in Coeur d’Alene earlier this year.

The fact is there is no attack on Christmas in Hayden, no belittling of Christians or disrespect toward Jesus Christ. There’s a man in Hayden who’s using a camel, among other props, to start a war that would never happen in a truly Christian atmosphere.

Don’t let his political strategy succeed in rallying outside conservatives itching for a fight, even if the fight is being manufactured for prime time consumption and local consternation. Much like the early attempts of the Griswold Family Christmas, there’s nothing to see here, only an eerie green light and a very bad smell coming from Jeremy Morris’s storm sewer.