More Disney rides turning into movies
George Clooney takes moviegoers to "Tomorrowland" this weekend in the latest Disney theme park attraction to become a major motion picture. I'd have gone with "Matterhorn: The Movie," but I guess there's a reason I'm not a studio executive.
"Tomorrowland" joins "The Haunted Mansion," "The Country Bears" and several dozen "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies as theme park rides given the cinematic treatment. While easy to dismiss as greedy nonsense, Disney should be commended for crafting a sort-of original story and hiring an excellent director in Brad Bird for "Tomorrowland." Disney is even attempting a prestige do-over on "Haunted Mansion," with "Pan's Labyrinth" director Guillermo del Toro at the helm.
I can't personally speak to the quality of "Tomorrowland" yet, but I'm ready to double-down on this trend. While most Disney attractions are based on existing movies and characters, there are still a few opportunities for ride-to-movie adaptations. Here's how I'd handle these potential billion-dollar properties.
Matterhorn: The Movie - It basically writes itself. A group of scientists explore the real Matterhorn in the Alps in search of the mysterious Yeti. The Yeti is a motion capture creation voiced by John Ratzenberger, and Sully and Mike Wazowski from "Monsters Inc." make their live-action debut. That's the power of Disney-Pixar synergy!
Jungle Cruise - Tom Hanks and Tim Allen were once attached to a live-action adaptation of the riverboat safari attraction. That's more great Disney-Pixar synergy at work, but I think they could skew younger. Kevin Hart is the river guide and the guys from One Direction are trapped aboard when a singing hippo (motion-capture Taylor Swift) hijacks the boat. Also, all the characters will be Instagraming or whatever.
Thunder Mountain Railroad - The Western theme of this ride could be easily translated into a pretty fantastic movie, but Disney bombed spectacularly with the Johnny Depp-infused "Lone Ranger" movie a couple years ago. Maybe if they tried it with Will Smith and a gigantic mechanical spider. That could work.
Tea Cups - I'm still not sure how this could be a feature-length movie, but we could make a few hundred million dollars if Robert Downey Jr. agrees to star.
It's a Small World - Ninety full minutes of kids singing "It's a Small World." Everybody loves this idea.
On a serious note - "Mad Max: Fury Road"
"Mad Max: Fury Road" is fantastic. The stunts are incredible, but director George Miller has also packed the film with a ton of interesting ideas. It's unlike anything else out there and worth seeing with as little influence as possible.
Tyler Wilson can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.