Ceremony to honor lost loved ones

Jerry Sittser understands loss, and that knowledge comes from an experience more devastating than most humans ever experience.

In an instant, the Whitworth University professor of theology lost his wife, his mother and his youngest daughter in a car crash in rural Idaho in 1991.

Sittser, also an author, subsequently penned “A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss.”

First published 20 years ago, Sittser’s bestseller details his journey from being the victim of an emotionally shattering loss, through the depths of grief to something else — spiritual growth.

“I did not get over the loss of my loved ones; rather, I absorbed the loss into my life, like soil receives decaying matter, until it became a part of who I am. Sorrow took up permanent residence in my soul and enlarged it,” Sittser wrote in the book.

He will speak Saturday in Coeur d’Alene, at Lake City Community Church’s annual Ceremony of Remembrance.

In its 12th year, the free event will take place from 9:30 a.m. to noon at the church, 6000 N. Ramsey Road. The ceremony offers attendees the opportunity to honor the people who have touched their lives, but are no longer with them.

“It doesn’t matter if the loss is recent or in the past,” said Joanie Dwyer, a member of Lake City Community Church’s pastoral care team.

There will be a free continental breakfast, Christmas music, memorial Christmas ornaments and the reading of the names of lost loved ones. Last year, 300 people attended.

Dwyer, who teaches the church’s grief classes, said the holiday season can be a struggle for people dealing with loss.

“It’s especially difficult because you go to holiday gatherings, and everyone else is happy,” she said.

Hosting the annual ceremony falls in line with the church’s focus on grief recovery, Dwyer said. Pastor Rodney Wright brought a grief release program to the church 14 years ago. Since then, the church’s grief classes — now held four times a year at the Kroc Center — have helped more than 2,000 people.

“The idea is, you don’t get over loss. You work through it,” Dwyer said.

After taking the church’s grief class herself 14 years ago when her husband died, Dwyer became involved in helping others work through their grief. At that time, Dwyer never imagined she would be doing this kind of work with others.

Her experience is similar to Sittser’s.

In “A Grace Disguised,” Sittser wrote: “The experience of loss does not have to be the defining moment in our lives. Instead the defining moment can be our response to the loss. It is not what happens to us that matters so much as what happens in us.”

Those planning to attend the Ceremony of Remembrance ceremony on Saturday are asked to register at lakecitycc.org or by calling (208) 676-0632.