Dogs and kids

What I did on my summer vacation: Purchased two Labrador retriever puppies, fell in love with said puppies and changed my entire way of life.

The decision to add two puppies to our family is well-thought-out, calculated and purposeful. We search for months for the right breed to fit our family, a few more months for the right breeder and another month picking the right dogs from the litter - a brother and sister named Scout and Scarlett.

Knowing we work a lot in autumn, winter and spring, we decide a pair of pups should keep each other company in our absence. We also each desire a dog we can call our own, bond with and offer each pooch the individual attention the dog deserves.

My wife and I decide to take ownership of the dogs on the last contract day of my wife's school-year, allowing all summer to get to know the puppies and allowing the dogs to settle in and acclimate to their new home before we head back to our teaching jobs this fall. This decision proves brilliant. The dogs learn quickly from direction, are now house-broken and require constant redirection to correct misbehavior - and misbehave they do!

Four flower beds, one Japanese maple tree, the last two chapters of a book my wife is reading, the garden hose spray nozzle, the backyard grass, the flowers from a potted plant, three shoes, one dog bed, the leg of a chair, three socks, a barbecue cover and the instructions for a project I'm working on have become chew-toys destructed by the pair of mischievous pups.

Understanding puppies and particularly Labrador retrievers, my wife instructs, "You know they are going to chew stuff up and you can't get mad at the dogs for being dogs." Keeping this wisdom in mind, I chuckle and take pictures each time I see the remnant of a destroyed article in the yard and remind my wife how hilarious it is that the dogs decide to eat the last chapters of her book, not the first chapters already read (she bought a new copy of the book and keeps it high on her nightstand, away from the chewing pups).

Fifteen years ago, when my dog Molly would misbehave, I became inappropriately bonkers. I might yell, scold and become frustrated in my disappointment that Molly was not meeting my high expectations of behavior. Noticing my behavior affects Molly negatively, I begin to read, research and investigate. I quickly learn that when I become anxious, so does Molly. When I'm calm and confident, so is Molly.

Dogs are not unlike kids; when their life is stressed they too become stressed. When a dog - or child's - life is stress-free, the dog - or kid - tends to be happy and stress-free. This lesson is important for anyone struggling to understand a disorganized, anxious, stressful life. Attempting to remove or de-escalate the stress in one's life generally brings one's life back into homeostasis. The same is true for every organism: A dog, kid, fish, duck or donkey. Removing stress from the life of an organism makes the organism happy - simple science.

Every night Scout and Scarlett go on a long walk with their servants in the woods to see deer, birds, other dogs, families and friends. The neighborhood kids stop on their bikes to greet the dogs by name and offer belly-scratches and ear-rubs. Neighbors come out of their home to say hello to the pups and visit with my wife and me on the sidewalk about the weather and weekend plans. Yes, my entire way of life has changed this summer; for the good.

These two little bundles of fire, fun and hilarity make my life better. I am better because Scout and Scarlett need me to be calm, predictable and loving for them to be stress-free. I am better because I have to play with them, walk them, take them to the lake, and train them to walk at my heel, fetch on command and stay when directed. I am better because I understand that books, trees, plants and "things" are less important than love and forgiveness. I am better because I look into the dark-brown eyes of the wrinkled-skin, yellow puppy and smile because I know, this dog does not care if I make a million dollars, cure cancer or earn a Ph.D. Scout only cares that I care about him, and that's enough for me.

Send comments or other suggestions to William Rutherford at bprutherford@hotmail.com or visit pensiveparenting.com.