Young, and in no rush to marry

It's a little ironic, but only at first glance. According to results of a Pew Research survey released last week, the No. 1 thing today's young women look for in a mate is a job. A steady job, if you please (78 percent rank it highest). And the No. 1 thing young men want in a mate? Similar ideas about raising children (62 percent). Men prioritizing the kids and women, the checkbook? No, read on and think about the world they live in.

Both sexes agree that similarities of education, ethnic/racial background, and religion are relatively low on their lists of desired factors in a potential marriage partner, ranking in the lowest third of traits desired. Priorities are changing along with society. Two-career households are a necessity for most now, as are coordinated child care philosophies. That responsibility is more evenly shared than in older generations.

To further complicate the picture, an eligible young man with a steady job is a rarer commodity. First, there are fewer unmarried men per unmarried woman; that number shrank from a ratio of 139 men to 100 women in 1960, to 91 per 100 in 2012. The "marriage gap" of men who ever marry, as compared to women, is also widening. Seventeen percent of women will never marry (up from about 7 percent in 1960); nor will 23 percent of men (up from 10 in 1960).

Good jobs are harder to find and rely upon, and education costs are at record highs, so as other surveys confirm, Millennials have the greatest college debt load compared to youth of yore. Moreover, gone are the days when being a willing and reliable worker guaranteed long term employment that paid the bills with a good chance of promotion. Only 82 percent of men ages 25 to 34 were in the workforce in 2012, down from 93 percent in 1960. So the pool of marriageable men with steady jobs is shallower, and the financial burden for both sexes higher.

Marriage itself is less common among today's young adults. One in five Americans age 25 or older have never tied the knot, more than double the share in 1960. Millennials, who are more likely to have divorced parents than are those of their parents' generation, are taking longer to make that decision and tend to cohabitate first. The Pew study reported 24 percent of unmarried Millennials are living with a partner, some raising children together.

Those who tie the knot are waiting longer. The median marriage age is now 27 for women, up from 20 in 1960, and 29 for men, up from 23. No hurry here.

Maybe they're just not as into what they see as labels. American dissatisfaction with Congressional infighting and foreign wars is high; we're all sick of bickering, so alignment may seem unproductive, even detrimental to this generation. In another Pew study reported in March 2014, exactly half of Millennials surveyed identified themselves as independent or nonpartisan (compared with 37 percent of Gen X and 29 percent of Boomers). Of those who did identify, the majority described themselves as Democratic, or favored policies associated with that party.

A slight majority also identified themselves as churchless, although 36 percent described themselves as religious, whether or not churchless (compared with 52 percent of Gen X and 55 percent of Boomers). This is not to say they don't have opinions or spirituality; they tend to be passionate about certain issues. It's just that they don't identify themselves as readily with groups, even if their parents align their views with a particular party or faith.

This is society's future. As with each preceding generation they are forging their own distinctive path. They are the least affiliated generation so far; they are also the most racially and ethnically diverse and, married or not, they are also the most globally interconnected, thanks to technology. All that bodes well for working together. Perhaps theirs will be the generation that perfects worldwide what should be simple - getting along, albeit at a different pace.

Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network. Contact her at Sholeh@cdapress.com.