How can Idaho build a culture of respect?

In the last couple of weeks we have been flooded with images of Ray Rice of the Baltimore Ravens punching his fiancee and kicking her down the hall and descriptions of the open wounds left on Adrian Peterson's son's body after he beat him with a tree branch. Then there was the inevitable debate: Why did Janay Palmer stay, why did she marry Ray Rice after the violent act? Was the "whooping" of Peterson's son just proper parental discipline or abuse?

Isn't this all beside the point? Why is it that women and children are a greater risk of violence in their own homes than any other place?

Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson, star running backs for, respectively, the Baltimore Ravens and the Minnesota Vikings, have brought the issue of family violence into our living rooms and our kitchen tables. Because these are high profile athletes we are hearing about it daily. Most abuse, whether of children or intimate partners goes unreported. It is an open secret that most of us don't want to talk about yet family violence is a daily occurrence in our own neighborhoods and communities in Idaho.

Research tells us that 50 percent of men who frequently assault their wives also assault their children and that child maltreatment and domestic violence co-occur in 30 to 60 percent of families where either form of abuse is identified.

So what can we do about it? All abuse is preventable and all of us have a role in stopping it. How do we build a "culture of respect" that encourages healthy, non-violent nurturing relationships, effective parenting, and compassionate, connected communities that do not tolerate family violence? According to the Idaho Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence, healthy, loving relationships are built on respect, emotional responsibility, equity, trust and support.

Many groups throughout Idaho are working to create a culture of respect by preventing family violence and providing alternatives to harsh and abusive disciplinary practices. The Idaho Coalition is working in middle schools and high schools throughout the state to promote youth leadership and healthy teen relationships, recognizing that starting early matters. ICARE in Coeur d'Alene, Family Advocates in the Treasure Valley and Help Inc. in Idaho Falls all work to strengthen families through working with parents and children in home visiting programs. The Green Dot initiative trains people not to be passive bystanders by teaching them how to act responsibly to prevent violence incidents from occurring. The Idaho Children's Trust Fund is working with local government, faith based and community based organizations statewide to end child sexual abuse. Incentive-based programs like Baby Steps in Boise and Pocatello and Baby Haven in Caldwell provide diapers and other baby products to parents who learn more about parenting and child development and do the right things for their baby's well-being.

These are but a few examples of the amazing work being done in communities throughout Idaho. But it isn't just up to organizations to make a difference. It's up to each of us. Today we are outraged by what we are hearing about the abusive behavior of Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson and other NFL players. Now let's turn our outrage into constructive action. Volunteer. Meet the children on your block. Adopt policies at your churches and workplaces. We each have a role to play in ending family violence.

Kelly Miller is the executive director of the Idaho Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence and Roger Sherman is executive director of the Idaho Children's Trust Fund, the state affiliate of Prevent Child Abuse America.