Grammar walks into a bar ...

After losing her Little Miss Language Person to a far-away college, your Mrs. Language Person is emotionally exhausted. Drained. Knackered. In need of a linguistic laugh.

To her rescue thus came the chivalric Mr. Professor Person, fellow word nerd and pun enthusiast, the latter which MLP and the lovely Mrs. Professor Person do patiently indulge.

So without further ado, and with dubious courtesy of Mr. Professor Person, thus may one and all grammar geeks enjoy "Grammar Walks into a Bar," origins and authors unknown:

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and leaves.

A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.

(Not yet giggling, Reader? Those venerable and succinct Masters of Grammar, William Strunk and E. B. White, with their wee "Elements of Style" may add context, as may that Grand Poo-bah of books, Webster's Dictionary. Seek ye clarification without shame; your Mrs. Language Person often does.)

A question mark walks into a bar?

Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking a drink to drink.

The bar was walked into by the passive voice.

The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

(P.S. "Elements of Style" in .pdf is free online at Washington.edu - simply type the name in the search box. This mini-guide to grammar is the first hit.)

A synonym ambles into a pub.

A hyperbole totally ripped into this bar and destroyed everything.

A run on sentence walks into a bar it is thirsty.

A group of homophones wok inn two a bar.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapsed to the bar floor. Just like this fragment of Mrs. Language Person.

Mrs. Language Person and Sholeh Patrick are columnists for the Hagadone News Network. Contact them at Sholeh@cdapress.com.