Positive dreams
Last night, while walking through the halls of my school, I noticed a small light coming from a slightly open door. Peeking into the room, I am greeted with the instantaneous laughter of 30 fourth-grade students, pointing at my half-naked body standing before them in only underwear, a neck tie and flip-flops. Looking down at the target of their amusement, I quickly attempt to cover my body with an anti-bully poster ripped from the wall and back out of the room as fast as I can.
Closing the door quickly behind me as I escape the embarrassment of the classroom I now find myself naked in the hall of the school. I quickly remember that the clothes I purchased for the first day of school are waiting, pressed neatly on the bed in my school bedroom - but where is my bedroom? I begin to run.
The bell rings and the hall quickly fills with college students heading to class. The elementary school where I am presently the principal has now become the college where I taught for the past 18 years and the small children are now adults. Attempting to fit in, I slow to a walk, straighten my posture, snug my neck tie and begin high-fiving the half-clad students joining me in the hall. The party has begun.
Over the intercom of the college, the Alice Cooper classic, "School's Out for Summer," begins to play as beach balls, bikinis and suntan lotion drop from the ceiling. Now things get goofy.
Instantly, the music stops, the halls go dark, everyone and everything disappears and I find myself alone, scared and still nearly naked. A spotlight illuminates my quivering, cold, pale body as a screech comes over the intercom followed by the announcement in a firm, male voice, "Mr. Rutherford, come to the office immediately."
The hallway now becomes a wet, grass-covered hill too steep to climb. Knowing the only way to the office and the commanding male voice is to climb this unclimbable hill, I grab for the first mound of grass I can reach. Surprisingly, the grass holds my weight so I grab for a higher mound. I repeat this exercise with every bit of strength I can muster until I nearly reach the top.
As I look up, a hand is offering to help in my final ascent. I grab the hand, nod assuredly and am pulled into my office by the superintendent of schools. "Welcome to the first day of school," he offers with a grin as he tugs me to my feet. I now am mysteriously clothed in suit and tie, showered and shaved and shake the hand of the superintendent with the sun rising behind our backs and, "We are the Champions," playing on the intercom.
The school bell rings to start the first day of school and I startle awake. "Another stress-induced dream!"
I grab my glasses from the night stand and struggle to place the hooks over my ears. I look at the clock which reads 3:49 a.m. and frustratingly and quietly leave the bedroom for my office to work.
Most people share this phenomena of anxiety dreams with me when addressed with highly stressful situations. Stress at work, highly charged personal relationships, death and loss, the birth of a child, divorce, illness and selling a home all cause anxiety which disrupt the sleep pattern.
It is impossible to eliminate dreams caused by anxiety but these dreams can be diminished when one attempts to relieve the anxiety. A few examples of relieving anxiety and hence, slowing anxiety-filled dreams include:
* Living a healthy life. Avoid the overconsumption of fatty foods, alcohol, mind-altering medication (legal and illegal), highly processed foods and be active - walk, run, swim, bike, kayak. Unhealthy living creates sleep disruption which interferes with the deepest, most healthy cycles of sleep.
* Do not procrastinate. When tasks are undone, started but not finished, put off or given up, we attempt to accomplish the tasks in our dreams. Examples include: a boss avoids confronting an employee who requires redirection. An employee does not accomplish all tasks before leaving the job. A wife goes to bed angry at her spouse. The boss, employee and wife will replay options, ideas and frustrations in their dreams all night causing negative dreams which are difficult to sleep through. Solving these issues during the day or before falling asleep will aid in a restful night.
* Spend five minutes before falling asleep deciding what to dream. This really works! Kids who have nightmares, people with insomnia and stressful anxiety dreams can be eliminated when one uses the time before falling asleep to think about what to dream. Think through the issues that have kept you awake in the past or woke you up during the night and resolve them in your head before falling asleep. A child with a reoccurring nightmare can eliminate the nightmare if he kills the dragon or kicks out the monster under his bed before falling asleep.
* Eliminate stress prior to sleep. Do not watch stressful television shows or read an upsetting or a mentally stimulating book an hour before bed. Turn off most of the lights in your house an hour before bed to prep your brain for sleep and do not fall asleep with the television or radio on. Watching the Shiites kill Sunnis (or vice versa) on television prior to falling asleep forces one to dissolve this conflict while sleeping, creating dreams of war and conflict. Talking with a friend or child with the house lights dimmed prior to falling asleep creates dreams involving family and friends.
Remember being tucked tightly into bed as a child? Mom or dad reading a book or telling a story as your little eyes become heavy and you quickly fall to sleep. The quiet conversation, the warm bed, the comfort of mom or dad creating safety and security as they kiss your forehead good night allows you to know you are loved.
Repeating this beautifully nurturing experience as an adult allows us the same experience as the child. Turn down the lights, turn off technology, talk with friends and family about positive things, allow your eyes to naturally become heavy with sleep and allow yourself the gift of a restful night.
Send comments or other suggestions to Bill Rutherford at bprutherford@hotmail.com or visit pensiveparenting.com.