Don't be stupid regarding Cupid

I overheard a recent discussion from which I got quite a few chuckles. I was waiting in line at a local restaurant and my wandering ears picked up a spirited conversation.

Here are the highlights:

Guy 1: You know that Valentine's Day is coming up, right?

Guy 2: Uh, yeah, right. That's in March, isn't it?

G1: Wrong, dunce - it's Feb. 14.

G2: Oh, yeah.

G1: So, where are you taking Nancy for the big day?

G2: What big day?

G1: Wow.

G2: Oh, you mean Valentine's? I don't know. I hadn't really put much thought into it.

G1: Sure, I know. No pressure there. But hey, if you need a place to stay in about 10 days, I'm full up.

G2: What?

G1: Never mind. Anyway, I'm taking Teri over to the (insert posh restaurant here - forget it anyway - they're already booked). She's been wanting to go there forever, so that should make her happy.

G2: Can we tag along?

G1: Um, that's a negatory, there, Rubber Duck.

G2: What?

G1: Not important. Why don't you buy her some flowers and candy? I'm sure you can afford that.

G2: Yeah, maybe. But I feel like I'm giving in to the hype that the commercial forces have draped on us dudes.

G1: Wow.

G2: Exactly. I mean, why do we have to succumb to this emptying of our wallets just because some big conglomerate wants to fatten its bottom line early in the year? I mean, this whole made-up "holiday" really chafes my hide.

G1: Get a rope.

G2: Huh?

G1: Forget it. OK, so you're miffed you have to make an effort one day a year to let your significant other know you appreciate her. I really don't think that is too much to ask, and I'm sure that Nancy would expect more anyway.

G2: You really think so?

G1: Absolutely. How often do you take her out and show her a good time?

G2: All the time. You know, she goes to my softball games, and I've taken her to the buffet with me a time or two this year.

G1: You really know how to show a girl a good time, Rico Suave.

G2: Who?

G1: Not important. But yeah, dude, you need to up your game if Nancy is really the one for you. I mean, she doesn't look like she's exactly in heaven these days, you know.

G2: How do you know that?

G1: Oh, it's just a hunch I have, since she puts on that scowl every time you come into view.

G2: I thought she was just squinting to take in my awesomeness...

G1: Oh, yeah, that's it - my mistake. Wow.

G2: I know, huh?

G1: Oh, boy.

G2: Hey, man - our order's up.

G1: You mean my order, don't you?

G2: Aw, really man, you're not gonna share?

G1: Maybe I should - sounds like you need to save up for the big day.

G2: What big day?

G1: Wow.

G2: Hmm... sounds like a big day. Can you give me a hint?

G1: Cupid.

G2: Hmm ... not much to go on. Can I buy a vowel?

G1: Wow.

G2: No, I want one of the other ones...

As they walked away, I heard my number announced for my order. Thoroughly entertained, I walked away trying to plan something special for my wife.

OK, people, here's my advice:

Ladies: Enjoy your big day.

Guys: Make sure it's a memorable day. And no, you can't buy a vowel.

Jerry Hitchcock will be dining out tonight, since Cupid's arrow is still firmly attached to his heart. He may be reached at 664-8176, Ext. 2017, or via email at jhitchcock@cdapress.com. Follow him on Twitter at HitchTheWriter.