Seek not love, but agape

Yes, St. Valentine's Day is synonymous with love, but what does "love" mean exactly? It certainly doesn't mean overpriced cards, candy and flowers, nor any other thing money can buy. Perhaps it means a lover's motivation to buy them.

I'm not so sure. I like to think more of love. I always bought my children Valentines - a stuffed animal, candy, a rose for our daughter - tokens to express "Mommy and Dad treasure you."

• Storge.

But love also rises beyond attraction or family. Love is asking the disabled neighbor if he needs anything from the store, each time you go. Love is spending a long night volunteering at a homeless shelter.

• Philia.

And for the most advanced among us, love stretches beyond limit. The Mother Teresas of this world, Jesus Christ and Buddha, and the many unsung who mimic such lifelong selflessness to love not only the poor and downtrodden, but so-called enemies. The love that allows the purest of hearts to love those who are hardest to love.

• Agape.

I love (we English speakers are so free with that word, aren't we?) that Greek has at least four words for love's types and levels - eros, storge, philia, agape. Culture can enlighten, question, broaden the way we think. By contrast, Farsi/Persian has no distinct word for love. Yes, none; but don't judge it yet.

In Farsi the word for love and like are the same: doost. The same word also means friend. So I've always thought of doost in elevated form, as illustrative of Persian passions, so endemic to this culture it waxes vivacious and rich even in food, music, and the everpresent inclination to dance. And argue. And connect worldwide. Encounter a Persian in London? He's your new BFF and treats you like a brother. Nothing is held close to the vest for Persians; feelings waft from our pores. So how are eros and storge expressed in Farsi? Sweetheart. Soul.

In Latin-based French the root prefix behind so many love words is am - (amour, amoreaux, amants), as in Latin (amor - same for "like", amare, amans). French for soul: Ame. Coincidence? No matter; there's more in that vein. Other linguistic expressions for soul equate with life itself - anima, animus, animate.

And what is life without love?

So never mind candy, flowers or even lovers. Celebrate love on St. Valentine's Day - all its forms and brilliant power to transform the soul lifelong.

Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network. Contact her at sholeh@cdapress.com. TMLINE, mi amor.