Be a great parent: A primer in parent strategies

Strategy No. 1

Take action! No two parents show love in quite the same way. Some shower their kids with lots of hugs, high-fives, and kind notes; others are more stoic or reserved. Tap into your own way of showing your kids you care.

Spend time together in ways that fit your lifestyle.

Try to make time for regular meals together, go for walks, talk in the car, or meet somewhere for coffee.

Don't strive to live up to a stereotype or an ideal of parenting; just do what works for you.

Strategy No. 2

Take action! Communicate in ways that work well for you. Texting sometimes gets a bad rap, but so did the telephone years ago. Lots of kids today text - many of them, with their parents. If it works for your family, go for it. The medium you use matters less than how much you truly listen.

Do you understand what your kids are trying to tell you? Are you paying attention to body language or other cues that might indicate there's more to a story?

When you share things, are you grounding yourself in love, respect, and clarity? Do you ever say one thing and mean another? Do you treat them the way you want to be treated?

Strategy No. 3

Take action! Are you able to name at least three non-parent adults who are positive role models for your child? That strict but kind violin teacher who pushes 20 minutes of practice a day may be helping your daughter build confidence. Or maybe the neighbor who hires your son to walk her dogs helps him see himself as a responsible and reliable person. Adults outside our families can be hidden treasures when it comes to helping us parent. Research shows that all family members can benefit from kids having these kinds of supportive relationships. You can help nurture them by introducing your children to people you like and respect, and supporting positive relationships that develop naturally.

Strategy No. 4

Take action! Most schools and youth-serving programs go out of their way to reach parents through conferences, volunteer opportunities, and special events. If you're too busy to attend, at the very least, connect with your children's teachers via email or phone. Then start taking advantage of opportunities to actually get into and spend time at the places your kids go.

If the idea of going to school makes you uncomfortable, chaperone a field trip out of the building.

If you aren't finding good ways to get involved, start talking to or emailing your child's teachers, principals, program leaders, other directors. Let them know what would work for you and why the current opportunities don't work.

Source: The 40 Developmental Assets may be reproduced for educational, noncommercial uses only. Copyright 2010 Search Institute, 615 First Avenue NE, Suite 125, Minneapolis, MN 55413; 800-888-7828; www.search-institute.org. All rights reserved. www.parentfurther.com

Coming next week: Parenting strategies Nos. 5 through 9.