Survivors: It takes a village

If you've read this column long enough you know this topic is close to my heart. You've read about how personal it is, not just to me or to those involved in the cause or using the services, but to you.

Interpersonal violence - domestic violence, child abuse, and sex crimes - is personal to everyone, because one way or another it affects everyone. No exceptions. You'll encounter its harmful effects in personal relationships or at the workplace; one way or another it has impacted your life, whether or not you are aware.

That's the why. Now to the what: Awareness. Action.

In 2012, 6,642 calls came in to the Kootenai County Crisis Line (56 percent domestic violence; 41 percent sexual assault/rape; 3 percent stalking/other). That's a fraction of what's out there, because most victims don't or can't reach out. Only about 25 percent of those calls were self-referred; it's hard, it can be almost debilitating, to break out of those glass walls alone. The rest were referred by friends and family (25 percent), police (12 percent), medical personnel (8 percent) and the rest from other agencies and nonprofits such as the North Idaho Violence Prevention Center.

It really does take a village to transform victim into survivor, and American society is catching on. The creation of the new Kootenai County Domestic Violence Court is in part designed to help streamline referrals, as dismantling barriers and restoring healthy, safe lives is not a path with a straight route, but a complex network of arterials. One needs help to navigate it. These crimes and their effects are not like any other.

Streamlined expertise for survivors of interpersonal violence is the idea behind the new, multi-agency Children's Advocacy Center, one of the reaches of the many arms of NIVPC. In addition to 24/7 DV and rape hotlines, they also provide, free of charge:

* Professional counseling (child and adult)

* Hospital crisis advocacy

* Court advocacy, help with protection orders

* Education and outreach to schools and community groups

* Emergency shelter (pets too, via Kootenai Humane Society), when necessary. In 2012 NIVPC sheltered more than 200 people.

Did you notice the word "prevention" in the title? NIVPC does more than help victims or aid healing; it strives to empower survivors and prevent future victimization, as well as future perpetration, with:

* Teen outreach (e.g., through presentations in health classes and assemblies), to teach teens about dating violence, respect and rights, and healthy relationships. I've done a few of these. You'd be surprised at the simplicity of questions kids ask, revealing an alarming lack of understanding of what should and shouldn't be expected of themselves and each other. The pressure is enormous (made more so by Facebook, text, and other techno-social forums) and these classes seem to help free them of that weight.

* Empowerment classes to improve self-esteem, be prepared for court processes, and encourage personal strength and a specific form of independence.

* Training for professionals, volunteers, and public: Trauma Informed Care; Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence Program training for service programs; CIT (Crisis Intervention Training)

Now, to the action.

Yes, NIVPC needs volunteers. I won't lie and say it's easy to be an advocate, but it is rewarding and makes a huge difference in a life. Experiencing that one-on-one empowers the advocate, too.

There are other ways to help, such as with the Women's Center thrift store; organizing fundraisers, community events, "Girl Talk" and other outreach services; identifying training opportunities and counseling needs. Businesses willing to sponsor and support of all these efforts go a long way (and it's tax-deductible).

NIPVC's annual fundraising breakfast, co-sponsored by Soroptimists, is June 4 at 7:30 a.m. at the Coeur d'Alene Inn. For information, referrals or help, call (208) 664-9303.

Sholeh Patrick, J.D., is a columnist for Hagadone Newspapers. Email: Sholeh@cdapress.com