The era of 'I don't'

Glamorous, reality-TV-caliber weddings aren't packing the books like they used to at Storybook Bridal, said owner Misty Ceriello.

Where ecstatic girls were dumping $20,000 to $40,000 planning their big day five years ago, budgets are now scaled back to $500 and under, Ceriello said.

And some couples just aren't bothering at all.

"I've definitely seen a slow down," Ceriello said of girls squeezing into wedding dresses at her shop. "I was blaming it on the black bridal market, how brides can order dresses overseas."

It might be something else.

In 2011, Idaho's rate of marriage slid to 8.6 per 1,000 people, the lowest it has been in 60 years, according to the Idaho Vital Statistics Report.

The singles trend is gaining traction in Kootenai County, too.

The county only issued 2,711 marriage licenses in 2012 that were returned.

That's easily eclipsed by the 4,055 that were issued and returned in 2000.

Ceriello blames the economy for the slack in blushing brides.

"People are pinching," she said. "They're looking at the big picture. Do I want to drop $20,000 on a wedding, or buy a house?"

Pastor Ron Hunter said he definitely sees fewer couples meeting at the aisle at Church of the Nazarene.

"I don't have an exact number. I only know they are seriously down," Hunter said of weddings. "And not just in my church. It seems to be a cultural thing."

He believes a fundamental societal change is the cause.

Youth swept up in a culture of instant digital gratification are less inclined to sign onto a lifelong commitment, Hunter asserted.

"Young people are choosing to shack up for awhile, instead of committing," he contended.

There is also less obligation to wed, he believes, as fewer look to the Bible as a blueprint for building a life.

"The value of marriage is based on a Biblical authority," Hunter said. "When we remove the Bible as our standard, it's what everybody does right in their own eyes."

Coeur d'Alene residents Jessica Geiger and Craig Ochenkoski chose not to legally wed because "I don't believe I need the government's consent to love anyone," Geiger stated.

Together seven years, the couple considers themselves in a domestic partnership.

Their lives are full. They own a home, Geiger is pursuing her PhD and their four children are established in local schools and sports.

The lack of marriage certificate makes no difference to Geiger at all.

"I think traditional roles are being redefined, and marriage is one of them," she stated. "People are realizing what matters is inside, not printed, bought or ordained."

It might not all be philosophical.

Fewer people could be shouting "mazeltof" here because of simple population shifts, pointed out Regional Economist Alivia Metts.

The Gem state has seen a decline in the 25-to-29-year-old population at a faster rate than usual, Metts stated, many of them migrating to the Tri-Cities and the Wyoming oil fields.

"That age groups holds the second highest - next to 20-to-24-year-olds - number of marriages in the state," Metts noted.

Couples exchanging rings at the Hitching Post in Coeur d'Alene are older these days, usually between the 30s and 60s, agreed owners Lynn and Don Knapp.

"We don't do anywhere near the number of weddings we used to do when I started here," Don said, remembering the late 1980s.

Many couples are just content to live together, Lynn said. And singles are willing to wait longer for the right person to drift into their lives.

"I have a lot of nieces in their 20s and 30s, and they're not interested in getting married yet," she said. "They're wanting to do their own thing."

Engaged couple Samantha Smith and John Miller Jr. believe that fewer people seem willing to pursue long-term relationships.

"When something goes wrong, they want to give up and get somebody else," said Smith, who like Miller is 25 and lives in Coeur d'Alene.

Smith wants to wed Miller, she added, because they're friends and do everything together.

"If you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, it's a way to show them you love them," Smith explained of why marriage is worth the planning and cost for them. "It seals the deal."

That's why Ceriello hasn't resigned to closing the bridal store yet.

The recession will bounce back, she said. Coeur d'Alene will continue to lure brides with its photogenic beaches and boardwalk.

"I definitely don't think things have changed permanently," she said. "This is still something girls dream about from when they're little. It's something that's lifelong."