Mother, can I? You may.

Mrs. Language Person, that snitty (disagreeable) old bitty (i.e. crazy or lame, elderly woman who is out of touch with the world yet thinks she knows something relevant and feels compelled to share it), draws more attention with her language columns than she anticipated. So what was intended to be a brief columnar interlude has become rather tiresome, even to her.

Still, like any good soldier, she marches on (more later on made-up words from Mrs. Snitty Bitty).

Now, last time your MLP separated "can" and "not," thus called to question by no less than three readers who asked, "Isn't it 'cannot'?" Well yes, and no. Both are correct (as is the abbreviation, "can't"). No distinction exists, beyond habit or preference. The currently more commonly used "cannot" evolved (or devolved) from the originally separated two words, oft by necessity, e.g., "Can he not go?"

While on the subject, more about "can" and "could." Generally it's "can" to be able, and "may" for permission. Can I see you for a moment? Well, with functioning eyes and you in the vicinity, of course I can. "May I see you" is what I meant, if I'm merely asking for your attention or agreement.

Now a lesson from English's forefathers in the British Council on distinctions between "can" and "could," those portents of possibility:

"Can" makes general statements about what is possible. It can be cold in spring (i.e. it is sometimes cold in spring); or one can easily fall in love (people often fall in love easily).

"Could" is the past tense of can. It could be very cold this spring (sometimes it was very cold in spring); or you could easily fall in love (people often fell in love easily).

We also use "could" to show that something is possible in the future, but not certain. If we don't hurry we could be late (perhaps we will be late).

"Could have" shows something is possible now, or was at some time past. It is 10 o'clock; they could have arrived now, or they could have arrived hours ago.

For impossibilities, we use the negative "can't," "can not," or "cannot" (according to preference). That can't be true; you can not be serious. We use "couldn't" or "could not" to talk about the past. We knew it could not be true. He could not be serious.

Leaving possibility, we turn to ability, and use "can" to refer to skill. I can speak French. He can pick a March Madness champion.

Before her paralysis, she could run like a cheetah. But I'm getting ahead of myself (now how can one do that?). We use "could" to talk about a past time, whether theoretical or actual. She could have run (whether she did or didn't). By the way, she "could have gone," but she couldn't have "went." She went or she could have gone, but please: She could not have went!

Regarding permission, the use of "can" is debatable. MLP, news editors, and at least some English teachers (most, dear teachers?) would say "may" is correct. May I have some candy? May I pour you a drink? Nevertheless, others argue that I can not have the candy if Mother does not allow it, so "can" is permissible. Those Brits may concede, but MLP does not approve.

Sometimes to gain permission and to be more formal, more polite, we opt for "could" simply as a matter of form or deference. Could I ask a question please? Could we go to the store today? In such a case, "can" seems an acceptable exception. Yes, you can ask the question; we can go to the store. Still, "may" sounds more accurate and just as polite, does it not (snitty old bitty)?

Finally, we sometimes say "I can" or "I could" to make an offer. I can end this column now if you prefer. I could give you reprieve from this boring read. Or not.

Now, by request of two readers, something completely off topic: Comprise (contain) and compose (to make up). So often (and MLP pleads guilty) people incorrectly use "is comprised of." Wrong. A basketball team "is composed of" players, but all the teams "comprise" a conference.

Go Arizona Wildcats. (Your MLP could not care less about hoops; Mr. MLP made me say it).

Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network. Contact her at sholehjo@hotmail.com.