Giving to get

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes well you just might find, you get what you need," Mick Jagger sings on the 1969 Rolling Stones album, "Let it Bleed." These lyrics continually repeat in my brain as I watch the PBS series, "Roadtrip Nation."

In this series, college students travel the United States in a recreational vehicle interviewing leaders in the fields of art, politics, music, sports, education, business, culture and engineering. In this episode, the students interview Todd McFarlane, the creator of the internationally famous comic book character, "Spawn."

Todd's biography is a story of perseverance, grit and luck. Todd McFarlane had two main passions in his life growing up; baseball and comic books. College was never in his life plans, but he happened to get a scholarship to Eastern Washington University for baseball. While in college, Todd studied graphic arts while playing baseball and working part-time at a local comic book shop.

When he finished college and no professional baseball teams sought Todd out, he decided to pursue comic books. Todd received about 700 rejection letters from companies across the U.S. and Canada - but one day in 1984 he received an offer from Marvel/Epic Comic. With his unique style, Todd eventually worked his way to the top of the company's artist roster, receiving national attention for his cover of Spiderman.

After several years with the company, Todd and a few other Marvel artists decided to pursue an endeavor together. They formed Image Comics. With this new platform, Todd felt he could begin publishing a character he created 10 years ago called "Spawn." When the first issue of "Spawn" hit the stands in 1992, it sold more than 1.7 million copies making it the best-selling independent comic book to date.

One of the Roadtrip Nation students states his life dream is to create his own comic book character and become famous doing something he loves, just like Todd. He shares with Todd that his dad hates going to work and has been going to the same job he hates for the past 20 years. He then explains that he never wants to be like his dad; hating the work he does. This comment stops the conversation and Todd becomes visibly frustrated.

Todd asks, "Do you love your father?" The student nods yes. "And your father loves you," Todd states emphatically. Todd continues, "Your father did something he didn't like - working an unsatisfying job - to get to do something he likes; being with you. We all give up things to get things. We give up money to buy food, give up time to earn degrees and work jobs to own a home."

The student sits silently listening to the words of his hero. Todd asks another question. "Do you want a house?" The student quickly nods waiting for the next answer to another major life question. "All it takes to buy a house is a down payment so sell your car." The student looks quizzically at Todd and says, "But, I need my car." Todd offers, "That's not my problem. I gave you the answer to buying a house. Sell your car and you can buy a house."

Finishing his point, Todd continues, "OK, so you need a car. Sell your Xbox, computer, cell phone and mountain bike. Then you will have the money to buy a car." Concluding his argument Todd offers, "You can do most anything you wish if you are willing to give up things to get things. The problem is, most people want everything and are unwilling to give up what they have to get something they want. Life is about sacrifices."

I have a friend Tim, who started college with me 25 years ago. Tim's dream was to become an engineer, make great money, live on a large ranch in Montana and raise six kids. My dream was to complete my first semester of college, move on to my next semester and eventually earn a degree. Tim is a dreamer, I'm a realist. I understand that long-term goals are seldom reached if short-term goals are not achieved. I also understand that a person needs to give to get. Tim didn't understand this concept.

I continued attending classes and Tim did not. He skipped when he was tired, skipped when he had a test he didn't study for and skipped when he had a child with a birthday. I attended every class, did my homework and worked hard every semester. I graduated with my Bachelor of Science degree four years later. Tim did not.

I had to sacrifice time with my family, drive a beat-up used car and eat canned chili and frozen pizza but the sacrifice was worth it. Tim was rewarded in the short-term with birthday parties and sleep but lost his long-term dream - the ranch in Montana. I was punished in the short-term with lousy food and sleep deprivation but am rewarded today with a career I love and the satisfaction of accomplishment.

I called Tim a few weeks ago to say hello as friends often do. The conversation always ends the same; with Tim saying, "Wow, if I kept going to school with you I would have my degree. Think of what I could have done with that degree?" I remind Tim, "You can't always get what you want, but you get what you need. If you feel you need that degree, go back to school. It's never too late but, you'll have to give to get."

If you wish to comment or offer suggestions, please email me at bprutherford@hotmail.com.